Dating for 2006
Elena Solomon (C) 2005
Author of 12 Simple Rules
There is a new type of dating that grows from inside the old, "dating game" mode - evolved dating.
What is 'evolved dating'?
It is dating for people who KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. In other words, people who are aware of the dynamics of men-women relationships, body language, effective communication, who have their life together and who understand that there is more to dating than pick-up lines.
Those people DON'T need the usual dating games, playing hard-to-get etc, etc. Like high-level sportsmen, they can spot each other in an instant.
Those people are the ones that cannot be missed in a crowd, who draw all the attention, even when they are seemingly doing nothing.
They don't lie or use tricks; they are refreshingly honest and straightforward. And they never feel ashamed or inferior.
They possess calm, relaxed confidence that is as powerful as a nuclear reactor. The people comment about them, "There is something special about you" or call it, "a presence".
They simply look you in the eyes, and you start feeling weak at your knees. Your heart skips a bit and you start feeling dizzy. I have experienced this myself and seen this effect at work, once I learned how to do it.
You may now start wondering, how to gain such a power?
It's extremely simple, and at the same time it's hard work.
How can it be?
Because doing these things is really simple - but to make oneself doing them, takes commitment and courage.
It's like giving up smoking - all you need to do is to stop buying your own cigarettes and borrowing from others. It's really simple. But so many people have been smoking for many years and complain they cannot give up. (I have NEVER met a smoker who was over 20 and didn't want to quit!)
People that are on the level of evolved dating are the people who are successful. My definition of success is: success is doing what it takes when you know you must do it.
Over the years I realized that there is really nothing new under the sun, and the simple things are the ones that work the best.
I have also realized that anyone can develop him or herself to the level of evolved dating, in as short a period as one year (or less).
The place to start is to STOP seeking approval of others. This will have an effect so dramatic, you can see the results in a month time - people will start asking you what happened and saying you have changed.
The key here: WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU IS *NONE* OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Most people worry all their life what other people will think of them, or what others will say, etc, etc. It's like cutting your own wings. You can fly but you refuse because you are afraid what others may think.
You maybe afraid being the best you can be because you think others can feel uncomfortable in your company. The truth is, it's exactly the other way around: by allowing yourself to be the best you can be, you give permission to others to be the best they can be.
Stop worrying about others. You are the most important person in your life and you only have so many years to live on this Earth. Make yourself happy and stop taking responsibility for other people's happiness. Your happiness is your choice. Their happiness is their choice. As long as they are adults, their happiness is none of your business.
And stop faking it.
You fake things because you are afraid the others won't like you the way you are. The truth is, the others are faking themselves just as you do, to please you. If you are honest, you are allowing them to be honest, too.
This is what evolved dating is about, and this is why those people are so powerfully confident: they don't fake it. They simply ARE. They don't seek your approval and they don't expect you to seek theirs.
Most people try to give themselves to other people. People that are on the level of evolved dating give you the gift of being YOURSELF. You don't have to fake it with them.
You can reach the level of evolved dating, too.
When do you want to start?
Elena Solomon - Dating Coach
Read Elena's 12 Simple Rules of Dating