Wednesday

Dating Is a Numbers Game




Dating for Success

Don't set any requirements for who you will date. If you do this you may actually deny yourself the opportunity to meet a possible soul mate. If you’re like most people, you probably don't have a clue what you’re looking for in a person. Selecting a person for consideration is a lot like buying a car; you’re never going to truly know how you feel, until you take it for a spin.

Numbers Game

Remember this is a numbers game the more people you meet the greater your chance for success. So hang in there and keep the game plan moving forward meet, meet, meet etc. If you don’t do the meet, you wont get the treat. Treat for those lacking sophistication is a metaphor for Love.

What are your Feelings during this Meeting?

Your first encounter with each contestant is for looking, touching and sniffing only. No I do not mean sniffing literally. What I mean is you must allow these three senses to kick in and give you feed back, indicating whether this person is a viable candidate for a second run at the brass ring. For those lacking information about the Brass Ring I will elaborate about same. When Merry Go Rounds were in their infancy the owner or operator of the Merry Go Round would strategically locate a Brass Ring with in reach of patrons ridding the outside horses (traditionally there would be three rows of horses outside, middle and inside.) Once the ride got up to speed the ring would become available and the outside riders would attempt to grab the ring. Winners received some prize, which normally was a future free ride on the Merry Go Round.

Short Lunch Check your Feelings

Your second meeting should be short in duration like lunch during a working day. This limits your exposure to each other. The logic here is you may decide to terminate this person as a candidate. Harsh perhaps, but totally necessary because if its not working for you, move on to the next candidate. Wasting time on a maybe is just wasting your time and their time. So do the right thing, terminate or levitate yourself up from your seat and exit the door running. I trust you get my drift.

Don't keep for a Maybe

Do not leave any one dangling, just to fill the void while your looking for your true love. If you practice this method, you are a scoundrel of the highest magnitude. Anyway being a good person gains you a speedier method thru the Golden Gates. I know this because; The Bible rules and you can take that to the bank.

Now is the time to evaluate how you feel, cut thru the crap and just focus on what your feelings are telling you, about this person

If you are in tune with your feelings and they are telling you, this person feels good. Then move on to your next get together. Maybe a walk in the park or if the weather doesn't permit, try the mall. They always have places, where you can sit and talk. During this meeting, you might want to watch, your companions demeanor towards you. Do they seem interested in what your saying? Also do they seem eager to touch you? These are good signs that all is going well.

Thoughts to Ponder

Listening rather then talking would be preferable. Also leaning slightly towards someone indicates you are interested in what they are saying. It is always better to get to know the person first, before you probe for more information, about them. Like kids etc. It is always better to get to know the person first, before you probe for more information, about them. Like kids etc. Keep sex at bay for a while, it has a tendency, to complicate your sense of good judgment. In other words, don't confuse sex with love. Sex may drive you to high levels of enjoyment, but that doesn't mean, you’re in love.

Be Honest with Yourself

If you fail to be honest with yourself, about how you feel, you will make the whole process a sham and ultimately will not be unhappy with your selection. The road to happiness and a lasting relationship is riddled with those, who failed to follow their true feelings. Never buy into the assumption, that time will improve, how you feel about someone. Its better to be guided by how you currently feel, then to invest on, how you might feel in the future. Its like gambling, it hardly ever works.

Love & Control are not the Same

Never confuse love with control. If they say, my controlling you, is my way of keeping you safe, hit the bricks running, because control is all about control and nothing about love. Remember your ultimate goal is to find a friend, that you happen to love.

Negotiate the your Thoughts

Once you have selected your future mate, negotiate the rules, under which you will live. For example, if theirs children involved, how are they going to be handled and etc. Don't be afraid to handle the tough issues. Look at it, this way. Its better to clarify now and still have the option to opt out, if it doesn't work out.

Final Thought that Rules all Thoughts

Final rule if love isn't the number one reason, you’re getting together, jump ship and thank God you came to your senses and then pat yourself on the back, for being so smart.

This is my thought and I live by it. Love Rules & That’s That


Don L. Terrill

photo by morbuto