Wednesday

Just Answer the Phone




Your Vision is Blurred

Sometimes in our hast to find love we fail to realize what the real thing is. It’s like when my wife makes her special chocolate chip cookies. They always taste the same way and the word incredible amply describes how they make you feel when you eat them. Finding the love of your life is as easy as eating my wife’s chocolate chip cookies. Of course I don’t have to make them, my job is only to eat and enjoy. I think maybe that’s the way to find love, don’t make it just find it and enjoy it with every fiber of your being.

Never Felt the Real Thing

I truly believe that most people don’t know what true love is and because of that we make decisions predicated on what we think it is and that proves to be fatal most of the time. Love is not all those things we think it is. How someone looks is probably the number one reason people think there in love. Sex and money are the second reasons people believe they have found their dream person. These three imaginary reasons for believing love has found us, prove that most people don’t have a clue what real love is all about.

Felt Right

Last night for the first time I asked my wife why she said yes to me when I asked her to marry me? She said it just seemed right and everything felt good to her. That is of course exactly how I feel about her.

Is Your Phone Off

It’s amazing how much time we spend trying to please someone who we qualify as a possible life partner for us. We seem to think that we can make over ourselves and that will help us look attractive to someone else. So we spend all this time, effort and money to lure love to us. It’s like trying to catch a fish with a with a whole box of lures. Its not a lure that makes love come to you, loves comes because love is calling and all you have to do, is answer the phone.

Let Your Feelings Make the Decision

So the journey goes on and people want love but spend all their time thinking that they know what it is, rather then just letting love happen. Of course to make this kind of thinking work one must ignore there basic instinct to select what we like and play the field till the right person shows up. Yes that is hard because we always think we know what were doing. History and the facts prove this kind of thing totally void of any good rational.

Close Your Eyes & Pick

I think the reason we select people via our eyes is because seeing something is are normal way of selecting something we like. It’s like buying a car we see, like and then buy. But then the seeing value fades away and the joy we feel leaves us like a thief in the night.

Make the Last Choice Your First Choice

Also love doesn’t get a fair shake when sides are selected. I remember when I was a young boy and a bunch of us decided to play football for example. Two people would designate themselves quarterbacks and then each would select a person and that would go back and forth till everyone was selected for a team. I was almost always chosen almost in the last few selected. Using this kind of selecting love would probably be chosen last and that’s why so many people find themselves with the wrong person. Love doesn’t get a fair chance because it doesn’t appeal to our visual needs and because of that it doesn’t appeal to us. Love only requires a test of our feelings and that makes it more important then all other considerations. But alas its not given an adequate interview, which if given would show it to be the best choice amount all choices. All to often love is found only when all other choices are exhausted and then and only then do we see love for what it really is, the person most likely to be chosen last. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill

photo by child3283

Sunday

The Dating Clock is Always Ticking



Young Means Forever

Sometimes I think, we think that were going to live forever and that’s the reason we don’t take life serious. We say ho hum there is always tomorrow to do those things we should have done today. But then while we weren’t paying attention life slipped by and there we were standing on the edge of our journey and starting to count the years we have left by using the fingers of one hand. That’s the moment when we see the list of things we have never done and realize the possibility that we never will. Two years ago I had one of those moments and my alarm clock rang but this time I didn’t hit the snooze button. I decided there and then to challenge myself and find time for my list of dreams yet realized.

Two Dreams Let to Fill

I'm sure that all of us have one or two desires yet brought to the day of light. I have two such projects one is writing and the other is public speaking. I have long wanted to express myself via both of these forums. I see now that my window of opportunity is closing so that is why you’re reading my words. I have yet to see my second dream come true.

Love Will Direct My Fingers

I know what I will talk about but I'm not sure how to arrange my thoughts and beliefs into a forum that people will find interesting and hear the value of my words when I speak. I love words and love love, I'm sure in some fashion or another this will be my subject matter.

Begin & End With love

So how should I begin? Paul Revere rode his horse and shouted the words the British are coming. Today if I choice this method I would drive my car with the window down and shout the words loves coming so pay attention. Sound crazy? Maybe not. I as you have noticed am a great believer in love and the power it gives us. But my years of observation have forced me to see that love even though talked about is not really something most people have or understand. You wouldn’t think that selling love would be so hard? Its like its not really real and it only exists in the world of make believe or only other people have found it.

Finding Love is a Task Only You Can Do

I have been told that doing something requires knowledge of the subject matter. I’m ok so far; I know what real love is and where it’s at for me. So I can tell you what love is and how it feels, but I cant tell you where to find it.

You'll Know It When You Feel It

If you have to ask what love is or what does it feel like, your not tuned into the right station yet. But lets see if we can remedy that or at least give more clarity to it.

Love Is the Only Real Thing

When I met my true love, whose name is Linda; it was love at first sight for me. When she opened the door is was like someone gave me a shot of the good stuff and those feelings have never changed from then till now. And its not about any particular thing about her, its like everything about her is perfect from my perspective. Yet we have moments when we have apposing views about something, but you know what? It doesn’t affect the wonderful feelings I feel knowing she is my wife, best friend and the true love of my life.

Is Love Loving You?

So here’s the question do you think you’re in love? Or are you just fooling yourself and the person your with? When love finds you, you will know it. It will be the best thing that will ever happen to you. If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t feel right, your not there yet. Love isn’t something you make happen it just is. Its like putting a puzzle together, If all the spaces are filled, then that is when love is true, real and right for you. Maybe the problem is that we can’t really explain love but we who have it, can tell you with absolute clarity what it isn’t. Love isn’t like playing horseshoes; you don’t get points for being close. Have you every seen a picture that absolutely depicts the subject matter with complete clarity. That’s what love is, you wouldn’t change a thing.

Lovers are Better Feelers

I think that everyone who finds true love is puzzled by those who don’t get it. We think were smarter then them because we made such a great decision in selecting each other. But you know what? Love is easy to find and doesn’t require an enlightened sense of understanding to recognize.

Love Is The Only Real Thing

Imagine finding something that is absolutely perfect for you and knowing, know matter what you do that feeling will never change. Would that be cool or what? Think of all the things you have purchased or acquired that had huge valve at the point of finding but in time that feeling subsided and lost it glow of wellness. It’s like finding fools gold and we think its real but find out its worthless.

You'll Know It When You Feel It

Is there one of more things that don’t seem to jell with the person your with, then you don’t have the real thing. And here’s also another big point that people must understand so that they don’t try to make love. Love if you find it will require no modifications to make it become love. Love if you find it will require no changes. If your feeling any feelings that don't seem right to you; take two steps back and enjoy the people because you like them but don’t love them.

Its All About Finding the Light

When love finds you it wont be in the form of a Greek Goddess. It will arrive is a plain brown container and when opened will shine like the brightest star in the sky. So you will find love where you least expect it to be, so stop looking and sense the light when it glows for that is where love will be for you. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill

photo by Sam Blackman

Friday

A Pet Helps the Petting Process




Volunteer at the Animal Shelter

I did for a period of time in my younger single years and I can tell you from personal experience that girls love pets and if you’re a pet lover that’s a good image for meeting the opposite sex.

Food & Scoop Provider

My job was to tend to the basic needs of the boarders and that gave me an up close opportunity to intermingle with the smell good gender.

Met The Gentle Sex

I volunteered for this job because I was currently between jobs and needed something to keep my mind off the problems of life I was experiencing. I probably had the opportunity to communicate with fifty or so girls and probably fifty percent thought some slightly older were pleasing morsels to the bachelor mind.

A One Girl Guy

At the time I was slightly holding onto a relationship with a girl that pleased my vision but often confused me with mixed signals. I am a true believer that when I’m committed to someone I’m a one-person guy. So I didn’t extend proposals to girls visiting the pets up for adoption. But had I I’m sure I would have had a reasonable amount of success. Mainly because everyone had something in common and that was the love of those furry four legged ones in the cages. I frequently had to force myself away from girls that just wanted to talk and explain what kind of pet they were looking for. I guess they thought I had some expertise in the area. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. Cleaning cages and feeding the tenants was my extent of knowledge concerning the unfortunate boarders in my care. But that didn’t stop people from seeking out my conversation in the hope of finding enough information to make a decision about what pet to have.

Hits But Didn't Answer

Everyday I worked there opportunity knocked and I wasn't listening. Maybe you should seek out a similar volunteer situation and view what I’m talking about. I got hits without trying imagine what you could do by trying.

Dating is all about meeting and this is a good place to meet perspective opportunities. That’s my thought and maybe it will work for you.


Don L. Terrill

photo by The Moonstone Archive

A Co-Worker Gave Her a Helping Hand




Bagger Bags Boy Friend


I ran into Marcy while walking one morning. She asked me if I had seen a small hairy dog in the neighborhood. I said no. After that we passed paths numerous times and each time said hi to each other. Finally someone returned her dog for a reward she had posted all over the neighborhood. Normally pets especially dogs don’t find me receptive company but this four legged short model took a liking to me which impressed her owner. While petting the dog I asked her if she was married, she smiled and said yes. I told her I wrote articles concerning dating and marriage and wondered if she would share her dating connection with me. Yes was her reply.

Dog Friendship Helped

Armed with a new friend in tow we ventured to a small park and she shared her meeting and connecting with her husband of five years. She said they were happy and I assumed that meant they were in love.

They Meet in the Grocery Store

I asked her how they met and who was the aggressor? She with a slight blush on her face confessed that trickery was involved. She said while attending college she worked part time at a local grocery store as a cashier and also bagged groceries once in awhile. She said she would see her future husband once in awhile but only conjured up enough courage to say hi.

Friend Helped With a Note

Finally a fellow cashier decided to give his co worker a nudge in the right direction. He made up a note saying hi I’m Marcy a cashier here at the store and would very much like to meet you if you’re interested and then he gave him the note. In time her now husband finally found a name tag that said Marcy and said hi and can I buy you a drink at the Dunkin Doughnut, which was part of the grocery store. They shared company and love bloomed. After graduation he offered up the ring and love joined hands.

Help & Be Helped That's My Motto

Help others find love and ask others to help you do the same. After all it only takes a hi to get the connection going for life. So connect and live happily ever after. That’s my story and I’m hoping love finds you.


Don L. Terrill

photo by Demedulce

Wednesday

His Pitching Pitched Me a Date





First We Just Played Catch

My oldest son Don has always been one who takes a challenge with total dedication. That’s what happened when he decided to play in little league. He first started out by just being satisfied by playing catch etc. Then he decided that pitching was going to be his forte. At first it involved short sessions of him throwing and me catching then the process slowly elevated to pitching for a half hour or so. Then as I recall he studied pitching techniques by reading certain books from the library. Then when I thought it couldn’t get more intense it did.

Strike Outs We the Pitch of the Day

We were playing catch every moment he could squeeze into his time. And his precision became extremely accurate. I placed my glove at certain heights which I varied from pitch to pitch and he developed the accuracy of a missile heading for its target. My son got so good that when he pitched for his team, walking someone wasn’t an option for him. If you didn’t swing he would strike you out by hitting the strike zone.

His Team Was Number One

His team would have won every one of their games if he had been allowed to pitch every game. That was against the rules, which allowed all players to have the opportunity to play. It was a rarity when someone managed to hit the ball. My son was a huge hit and the parents of the team loved it.

Pitched a No Hit Game

Then one day he did what few kids ever did in little league he pitched a no hitter and elevated himself into the leagues hall of fame. Of course there was no such status it only existed in my mind. But if there had been one he would have been placed in it.

Dons Dad That Was My New Name

On this particular day while sitting in the bleachers a lady introduced herself and I reciprocated by reciting my name. That’s when the lady said oh your Dons Dad and I proudly with chest out said yes. That’s the day my son made me important. All that summer I was taking partial credit for my son’s success. It was to say the least a good summer for both of us.

His Popularity Made Dating Easy for Me

Don continues even today to apply that same intensity to his life and he still pushes himself just as hard today as he did then. And even today in the quiet of my mind I can still hear the words oh your Dons Dad and I would say yes, I’m Dons Dad. Oh and by the way that lady that said oh your Dons Dad joined me for a time and we had fun together. So give Little League a try, it might find you a date, like it did me. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill

photo by public.resource.org

Monday

Depression Will Ruin Your Dating Skills





Losing Control


I like many people have experienced the dark side of depression and for those who haven’t tried it, it sucks. I chose that last word because it clearly described what happened to me. It was like my whole life was taken out of my control and the only thing that remained was this horrible feeling that alien forces were taking over the human race and I was next on the list to be consumed and it scared the hell out of me. I was in so much fear that I tried to kill myself. Eventually unknown to myself I called the police and asked for help. They strongly suggested I sign myself into a rehab place for observation. I vaguely recall signing something.

Had to Work My Way Back to Live

That was then and here I am today. Much emotional pain has passed thru my brain and body since then. Pills, therapy and positive thinking for the most part kept the wheels on the wagon for me. But nothing at this point kept me safe from my haunting feelings that drifted in and out of my mind. The day I decided to be ok, is the day things got better for me. I guess I was just sick and tired of living the way I was. It seemed like I never really felt good. It was like a dark cloud was lingering over my head and I couldn’t chase it away.

I'm Sick of living Like This

But then I remembered saying to myself, enough is enough and then I instantly felt better. Since then I have used this forcefulness with myself and it continues to work for me.

Your Mind Will Control if You Don't

I think I was so into my depression that it overwhelmed me and I let it control my life. I honestly believe that the mind is easily persuaded to feel a certain way if we the person living in the brain doesn’t continue to maintain control. Its like your computer if you don’t make decisions your computer in many cases will make it for you and may produce results your not looking for. Were the only person living in our mind and you have the ability to control how you feel. If on the other hand you start letting your mind make decisions for you, because you feel your losing your grip on your sanity. That’s a signal that you might be slipping into the world of dark shadows and if your not careful the people in the white jackets will be helping you eat your food with a spoon that isn’t being controlled by you.

Finding Love Requires Emotional Wellness

Had I not fixed myself emotionally dating would have been a negative thing and finding love like I have would have been out of the question. So take it from an X depressed person, heal your unhappy feelings so love can mate with you. I wish you good date hunting.

Take it from one who knows. Its better to keep your sanity, rather then losing it and trying to get it back. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill

photo by Mike Babcock

Tuesday

Trying to Solve a Puzzle Helps Daters Meet




Metro


Last week my lovely wife and I enjoyed viewing our countries capital. We accomplished this by walking, riding tour buses and taking the metro. My story today is about the Metro which is pretty much an under ground rail system which transports most people visiting the capital. On this particular day we were riding from the Shady Groove location to Metro Central, which is where the main lines intersect. The three lines are denoted by a color the three common ones are red, blue and green.

A Girl Solving a Puzzle

We were traveling the green line when the doors opened and in walked a lone lady whose age was probably about twenty-five. At the next stop fifty of so persons entered our car and most seemed to be of the male persuasion, seniors or first year college students. The girl in question was trying to solve a puzzle pertaining to past presidents. She asked one boy for help rather loudly and almost all the boys interacted with her and they all answered questions like they were competing for points in a shooting gallery. But what was interesting they all became friendly to each other and no longer were traveling strangers on the train. In a matter of fifteen minutes the girl with the book connected with three boys and all agreed to meet for lunch at the agricultural dining room by the holocaust presentation.

A Way to Meet People

And I sat their and watched this meeting and was profoundly impressed by how easy it was for them to come together as strangers and in a matter of minutes connect and become more then strangers just by interaction over the conversation of a puzzle book. She asked questions and they gave her answers. What an incredible way to meet new people and explore their different lives together.

Its All About a Question

Looking to make a connection with the hope of having a conversation and enjoying lunch together? Buy a puzzle book and then ask fellow travelers to help you solve the puzzle. And in the process meet new people and explore the dreams that different minds can produce. I constantly was amazed how easy it is to say something to someone and in the process create a connection that often produces fun and sometimes a lifetime of togetherness. And it all happened by just asking a question. Want to make a connection? Ask a question and see where it leads you. That’s my observation and I hope like me your paying attention when someone asks you a question.


Don L. Terrill

Photo by markcbrennan

Sunday

Be a Game Hunter




Playing Safe is Only Playing

Dating is a lot like being a game hunter and going in the woods finding your prey and then cook it over an open fire. But if you are a hunter and point to shoot but never pull the trigger its not likely your going to achieve your desired goal. Yes sometimes love walks into your life and says lets get married and live happily ever after. But I have a hunch that this scenario is the exception to the rule and hardly ever happens in the real world. So if your playing it safe then its highly likely that keeping warm at night is going to require a hot water bottle.

The Law of Trying

So if love is your goal may I suggest a different approach. First and foremost pull out all the stops and stop being the person sitting in the corner waiting for someone to ask you to dance. Success in life requires that you be the aggressor and like all good salesmen you will learn that finding dates is all about making contact and see where the encounter goes. Yes rejection will over shadow the yeses but that’s the way life works. Constant trying always produces the results the pusher is trying to achieve. Its what I call the natural law of trying and in time receiving.

Player?

So is your goal to play for the rest of your life or is finding the love of your life your goal. One makes you a player and the other brings the greatest joy that the universe can produce.

Get Serious

I played for almost twenty years after getting a divorce and then one day I opened my mind and my heart and listened to what my feelings were telling me. Stop playing and get serious. I did she said yes and we lived happily ever after.


Don L. Terrill

photo by jimstonjournal

Thursday

No Sometimes Improves Your Dating




Don’t Always Say Yes


No is sometimes more appropriate and gets a candidates attention. Sure in some ways it’s a negative thing and probably doesn’t make your possible date happy. But it does push them away a little bit and then that makes them a prime candidate for an I’ve reconsidered and now my answer is yes.

No Made Her More Important

I many moons before I married for the second and last time dated a social lite that loved playing the game of no and then yes. I know this because she used to use it on me. And I’m sorry to report that for a long time I didn’t realize she was just making herself more important by just saying no every once in awhile. Lets explore this thinking for a moment. If I’m dating you and always say yes to you then you’ll start thinking that I’m hooked on you and will expect yes all the time. But if no shows up every once in awhile that will emotionally make yes more important.

May Force Them Off the Pot

Sounds crazy? Maybe but no is a useful word to make someone really understand how important you are to them. I personally don’t see this as devious behavior when used in the proper way. No forces the receiver of the no to realize what part your playing in their life and sometimes gets them off dead center and forces them to compete for the company of your time. Sometimes we all need a wake up call and see the value of whats going on in our life. And by saying no once in awhile you are demonstrating to that person how important to them you are. And generally speaking I believe men need more no’s then do women. Men sometime get so caught up in their boy toys they forget about the most important toy and that is the love of their life. No you’re not a toy I’m just trying to make a point. And that point is that toys are fun to have, but love is what you want to live with. That’s my thought.


Don L. Terrill

photo by alisdair

Wednesday

Select Dates Only by How You Feel



Dating Isn’t Like Putting a Puzzle Together

One of my lady friends during my childhood days was a great doer of puzzles. She would get the puzzles that know one else could put together, she had the patience of Jobe. She was one year younger then me and once while enjoying each other she kissed me on the cheek and then just smiled at me. At that moment I was eight years old and didn’t have a clue why boys and girls were different. Having know parents to raise me left many questions unanswered. But my new instincts told me that the kiss on the cheek was a good thing, but I’m sorry to report that returning same never happened, thought I must confess it did cross my mind a few times.

Always Look Deeper

Dating has absolutely nothing to do with being good at putting hard puzzles together. As a matter of fact it’s just the opposite. Finding a viable mate is at the very least not very fruitful if your trying to match up similarities in each other. You would think having common interests would more likely lead to finding the match that brings two souls together. It’s not only not true but it helps defeat the mating process. Because if you don’t see what you want to see in someone then that’s a death sentence for the candidate and rather then looking deeper we push them away and start the process all over again with a new candidate.

She Always Said No

Forget the puzzle technique and open your eyes. Now here’s your first mistake you judge someone solely by their features and not their presence. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. Joyce a long time co-worker of mine kept saying no to a person called Jake that visited our office bi monthly doing bug prevention treatments. She said his nose was too long. Finally our two-year contract with his bug company ran out and Joyce finally figured out how she felt about him. But with prodding from me she called his company and asked them to have him call her. They informed her he no longer worked for them. She was crushed and cried while visiting the bathroom.

She Cried I Called & They Met

Through contacts I found out where he was working and called him. Thank God he was still single. I asked him to meet me for coffee time in the morning. That’s where Joyce and I went for coffee every morning. We entered she saw him and just stared without saying a word. Finally I spoke and said look its Jake lets have coffee with him.

Didn't Get My Matching Fee

I should have gotten a fee for match making. Finally features no longer mattered and they became one. Moral of the story don’t look, just follow your feelings.


Don L. Terrill

photo by LabGP & SigOther

Tuesday

It's All About How You Feel



It Isn't About Having Common Interests

Dating is not about finding a person to date and then through that process finding the person that best meets your needs. In other words a person who shares your interests and other matching things and that will give you an upper hand in making the matching game work for you.

Stop Looking for the Right Person

So you think you know who the right person is for you. Well guess what? nobody knows the answer to that statement till their feelings tell them who that is. So dump that thinking and enjoy everyone and don't worry and just let your feelings make that decision for you.

Love Meets Love

Have you every noticed that people who love each other seldom have too many things in common. Well guess what that’s the way it should be and must be if a love connection is going to be made. There is only one singular thing required to make a love connection that will last the test of time and that is love. If your heart loves their heart then that’s all that is required and love will bloom for as long as life lives with you.

Be Guided by What You Feel

When you meet someone what are your feelings telling you at that very moment? When my heart met her heart I knew I had that special thing that makes life the best that it can be. And like a blind man I found the light for the first time in my life. And I knew it the second I met her for the first time. Love doesn’t need time to see if it will work, on the contrary it works the moment it meets and a love match is made. I know this like I know that God is the creator of the universe and his love is connected with my love and through that I understand love and all the wellness it brings to me. So take it from the heart of one who knows love and just stop looking and just feel what your heart is telling you. Love is the true guide to finding the right match for you. That’s how I feel and so should you.


Don L. Terrill

photo by pedrosimoes7