Saturday

Finding Requires Meeting




Its All About Just Looking

My one doctor has a huge puzzle in his front lobby. I think its to distract patients from their problem by diverting their attention to something else. The degree of difficulty for this puzzle is huge because most of the parts are one color. On this particular visit I watched a half a dozen people try to make a match and no one was successful. Some of the patients wouldn’t even try. There comment was it looked too hard or they have already tried and given up.

It Will Be About a Perfect Fit

We are the most informed people who have ever walked on the face of the earth. We excel in all aspects of life except in choosing the correct mate for ourselves. The divorce rate is at an all time high and shows little hope of going down.

The Second One Fit

I have tried marriage twice. My first marriage was a total disaster but did produce two incredible sons. My second marriage was a perfect match for both of us and we don’t really work at it and that’s the beauty of it.

I Thought Creating the Picture Was Love

I was twenty-one when I got married the first time and my goal was to have a family and live happily ever after. It was a dream that I sought to fulfill when I was a young boy growing up. You see I never had the joy of being part of a family. In my beginning years I was raised by my Grandfather, Uncle and Housekeeper. I remember walking the streets at night and seeing families though their windows and imagined how happy they were.

I Didn't Know the Real Thing

The night before I got married my adopted Father asked me if I knew what I was doing. I said yes. Boy was that an understatement. I knew what I wanted but didn’t know what I was doing. The marriage lasted a little over two years and produced the greatest heartache I have ever experienced in my life.

She Felt Right

But time healed the heartache and in time I started dating but always kept my guard up and wouldn’t let anyone get too close. I enjoyed dating but didn’t seem to want to take it to a higher level. Then one day through a friend I met the love of my life. There was nothing about her that I did not like. We dated for a short period of time and then I asked her to marry me she said yes. Both of us were surprised it happened so fast.

We Selected Our Roles

Before we did the legal thing we discussed in great detail what are thoughts were on matters. We decided it would work better for us if I moved in with her. We both wanted to handle our own money but agreed to contribute equally to the cost of living together. She only had one bathroom; I wanted another bathroom so I installed it myself in the remodeled side of the basement. Her two young son helped me accomplished that in a short period of time. Both of my sons were no longer under my guidance. One was living with his Grand Parents and the other moved out of town. I told my wife to be that I didn’t want to be a parent again. So we both agreed that she would solely be in charge of her boys and I would be considered a non-parent. That status worked out splendidly for me. The boys always knew they were in trouble when they came in the house and I was heading for the basement. You see I didn’t feel comfortable being present when the boys were being admonished for failing to follow the rules laid out by their Mother so I voluntarily exiled myself to the basement and waited till the all clear sign was displayed. Even today we laugh about me going to the basement and they knowing they were in trouble for some reason.

We Decided Where We Would Say I Do

We selected rings for each other and decided to get married at the courthouse and for go all the expense of walking down the isle since this was our second time around. When we arrived at the courthouse we were informed we needed to furnish two witnesses to make the whole process legal and binding. We commandeered two ladies living in a High-rise facility that I managed to witness are togetherness. The ladies were delighted to have the opportunity to help us out in our moment of need.

It Was Just About Us

We chose to keep out pending marriage private and tell others afterwards. Even our sons didn’t know what day we selected for our wedding day. Some of our friends gave us heck for not throwing a bash. We listened intently and then informed them that’s the way we wanted it. We didn’t feel that our love needed to be validated by anyone. We knew what felt for each other was the real thing and that was that.

Everything in our lives has changed except how we feel about each other. That which bonded us on our wedding day is still holding us together today. And its still as easy today as it was then.

Almost Doesn't Do It

Finding the right person is not like playing horseshoes, which gives a player points for getting closer to the metal stake in the ground. Finding the right person requires finding the right person and anything else just wont be the right person for you. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill

photo by phil schatz