Photo By: ddebojit
Women Pickup Secrets Revealed
by Joseph Matthews
Feeling clueless when it comes to picking up women? These handy tips will help get you started on the path of success to getting the women of your dreams!
Do you want to go out and pick up a woman tonight, but have no clue where to start?
Many guys get lots of bad advice about picking up women from their friends and family who know even LESS about how to get a girl than they do. Even so-called "Dating experts" that you see on TV usually don't know what they're talking about because they have to cater to the feminist media! (And truth be told, the mainstream media looks down on any tactic that could help guys get laid!)
The fact is: Teaching guys how to pick up women is a touchy subject!
You want some practical advice that can really work, that you can start to use right away. Fortunately, you found this article. So let's get started!
First of all, let's cover what you DON'T need to pick up women.
You DON'T have to be "male model" good looking.
This is a big mistake most men make. Understand that about 85% of women actually care more about how a man can make them FEEL than how the man actually LOOKS.
So if you're insecure about your looks, don't sweat it! There's still hope.
Second, you DON'T have to spend a lot of money or drive an expensive car!
Many of the best ladies men I know never spend more than $30 on a date - heck, some of them don't even own a car! (And if they do, it usually isn't a very nice one!)
Most women don't care how much money you make or spend on them - IF they actually like you! And a big part of picking up women is to get them to like you, isn't that right?
Lastly, you DON'T need big muscles, be a certain nationality or ethnicity, be famous, or any other things you can think of.
The secret is to have a great personality - this will make any other obstacle you think you have to getting a girl to like you obsolete!
Interacting with women the right way is the only thing that matters.
Unless you're currently a master pickup artist, you may not have a whole lot of success with women right away when using these tactics - after all, it takes time to practice and learn from your experiences. But if you actually apply what you've learned, you'll soon find your success with women will skyrocket!
In order to learn the quickest, you'll want to go out as often as you can - particularly when you're first starting. You don't have to go to nightclubs or other high-pressure environments to meet women, but they are great "practice grounds" because there are SO MANY women there to meet and talk to.
Despite where you choose to go, you need to set aside some time every day to go out and pick up women - you'll get better the more times you do it!
You probably won't have much success at first when you start going to clubs, but other people will actually start notice a change in you as your confidence goes up. Every success and failure in nightclubs will also helps to reinforce the things you need to do when you're picking up women, and the things you need to avoid.
Remember: With Experience Comes MASTERY.
The most important thing to remember about going out to pick up women is to gain experience!
When you're going out to pick up women and gain experience, it's important to look as good as you possibly can!
(Notice I didn't say "good looking." I said "look good." There's a difference. You can't control what you look like, but you CAN control your appearance - your hair, your tan, your clothes, etc.)
Try and dress nicely - wear clothes that fit, that match, and that look good on you. If you're hopeless when it comes to fashion, get a savvy friend to help you out.
It's true that you don't need fancy threads to meet girls, but why not make it easier by wearing nice clothes, why wouldn't you do it? Besides, looking good will also make you feel more confident!
Always be on the lookout for pickup opportunities. Attractive women are everywhere, and it's always a bad idea to let an opportunity to meet one of them slip you by!
Finally, its important to remember that a good pick up follows an easy-to-use structure. This means there's steps you can follow to get a specific result EVERY TIME you go out to meet women.
This structure is as follows:
Find the girl.
Talk and Gain Rapport.
These four simple steps is all you need! You'll find that if you can just meet the women you want and gain rapport with them, you'll easily be able to build attraction with them too.
For more dating tips click here.
Posted by Jessica Watts at 10:31 AM
Photo By: folhaes
How You Know He's Interested - The 3 Signs
By Bob Grant (c)
He Makes Good Eye Contact
Since guys are visual, it goes without saying that they stare at women whom they find attractive. This is significant because, as a general rule of thumb, men tend to avoid prolonged eye contact because of its threatening nature (think Alpha Male stuff).
In addition, every man can tell you a story of some woman he was nice to, who misinterpreted his kindness as an indication of romantic interest. If you ask 100 men why they are so guarded about giving a woman the wrong impression, the answer is simple, "Because she might not leave."
How to respond: When you notice his gaze, simply smile back while maintaining eye contact for a couple of seconds, and then quickly look away. This simple gesture is all the invitation he'll need to approach you.
He'll Listen to You
Need I mention that men hate being bored? Women don't prefer it either, but men detest it. Nothing is more boring to most men than being trapped in a conversation with someone who doesn't interest them.
If you were to ask how you can tell if you are the woman who is holding him hostage, relax. Most men won't listen long enough for that to happen to you. If he's listening to you talk about your work, friends or other interests for more than five minutes, he's interested in you.
How to Respond: Remember that the person doing the talking is NOT in control. The listener is in control. You want the conversation centered on him so that you can begin training him to be emotionally dependent on you.
Men always find women who listen to them to be irresistible. When you are listening, be sure to make eye contact with him occasionally and never forget that men find a woman's smile to be hypnotic. Most women can easily do two things at once, so resist the urge to listen and look elsewhere.
Without some eye contact and a smile, you may hear what he's saying, but you won't look like you care.
He Frequents Your Friends
Most men know that if you simply approach a woman and give her a "yes" or "no" question, you only have a 50/50 chance of her saying yes, or worse. Therefore, the clever guys are those who slowly infiltrate your inner circle of friends because they know if your friends like them, they have a better chance with you.
Don't be threatened if you see a guy strike up a conversation with one of your girlfriends. Yes, he may be interested in her and not you, but there is a good chance that you are actually the primary target.
As a guy gets to know your friends, it becomes easier for him to approach both you and them in the future.
How to Respond: If you notice him talking to one of your gal pals, don't approach them too quickly. In fact, don't approach them at all. Act as though you didn't notice them speaking and maintain your distance.
The next time you are with that friend, stay close to her and he'll be able to approach you, through her.
For more Dating tips click here.
Posted by Jessica Watts at 1:53 PM
Photo By: terra924
Love is a Conscious Choice!
By Maria Veloso, Certified Life Coach
Why doesn't love last?
If you're like most people, you've probably asked yourself the above question -- not just once, but several times.
With about 50% of marriages ending in divorce, and pre-marital relationships failing at an even higher rate, I'm certain you've seen your share of failed relationships among your friends and family members -- and even in your own life.
It's enough to make you believe that true love no longer exists in the modern world, doesn't it?
Contrary to popular belief, true love is alive and well -- but you're not going to find it where you're looking for it.
Our culture perpetuates unrealistic romantic expectations - and women, in particular, are predisposed to these expectations because from the time we're old enough to think, we dream that one day a Prince Charming will come along, fall in love with us, and we'll live happily ever after.
What's wrong with that picture?
Well, first of all, when we look to someone other than ourselves to be the source of our happiness or completion, that's a recipe for dysfunctional co-dependence, not true love. It trains us to hold off being happy until that perfect someone, soul mate or Mr. Right comes along.
A better strategy would be for you to be happy first -- whether you're in a relationship or not. And above all, love yourself first (i.e., hold yourself in high esteem) -- and you'll find no trouble finding men who'll want to love you. After all, how can you expect someone to love you if you don't first love yourself?
The buzz phrase, "You complete me" (popularized by Tom Cruise, who said those famous words to the character of Renee Zellwegger in the movie, Jerry McGuire), is based more on romantic sentimentality than truth. The concept of one person completing another person is just another example of an unrealistic romantic myth perpetuated by the film industry, media, and society in general.
Married couples sometimes call each other "my better half," insinuating that one is not whole without the other. This contributes to what I call the "free radical" approach to love, using the metaphor of an unstable atom with unpaired electrons scavenging another atom's electron to complete itself. Likewise, a woman oftentimes looks to a man to complete herself -- and that's an unhealthy way to enter into a relationship. She needs to be complete in and of herself, and enter into a relationship with a man who is also complete.
Two unstable halves make an unstable whole. Building a stable and whole relationship requires two whole people coming together.
Going back to the subject of expecting love to be a happily-ever-after state of being, nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the time, the feeling of being "in love" dissipates from your relationship. When that happens, you become dissatisfied with your relationship, and you experience unnecessary pain and heartbreak as a result.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Perhaps one of the most important lessons you can ever learn about being, and staying, in love for life -- and for keeps -- is this:
Never confuse the feeling of being "in love" with love. True love is a choice.
Those who know me know that I prefer dispensing relationship advice through storytelling because I believe the fictional approach is a more effective way of teaching lessons about life and love than the textbook approach. The "medicine goes down" more smoothly when wrapped in the cushions of a story well told.
For example, on the subject of love being a choice, here's what a leading character in one my novels said:
"Love is not just a feeling. It's a choice, a commitment, a way of behaving toward another. Love is not simply an event that happens to you. Rather, love is something you choose to do. The state of being in love is simply a prelude to love. But most people make the mistake of thinking they're one and the same thing. We are all given circumstances by which we can exercise the choice to love. That's the thunderbolt that God supplies. It's that instant attraction to another person, those warm, fuzzy feelings, that fever akin to drunkenness or madness that causes you to know that you're in love. But it's what you choose to do after that thunderbolt has passed that matters. You choose whether you're going to continue loving the other person after the drunkenness has dissipated, after the frills of romance have fallen away. You choose whether you're going to continue to seek the best interests of the other person, and care about him or her through any and all circumstances -- and for how long. Love is a conscious choice." -- Excerpt from Midwinter Turns to Spring
A successful relationship between a man and a woman is not born but made. If you allow romantic love -- or feelings -- to become the basis for marriage and happiness, the foundation is likely to be unstable because you or your mate are likely to seek new emotional highs as time goes by. Feelings and emotions are fickle, and the circumstances that give rise to them, even more so.
A personal adage of mine that I live by is this: "True love is the ability to choose one person above all, and the ability to celebrate that choice for as long as you live." If both you and your mate are able to mutually live by this adage, then you're on your way to a fruitful and enduring relationship.
Isn't this a more empowering way to love and be loved? This way, you won't have to fear the volatility of love as you presently know it.
After all, even if you're in the best relationship, there will always be days when you feel you love your mate -- other days you may not. Some days you could feel loved, and other days you don't. Even if you met someone who you imagine is your ideal mate, would he still love you five, ten, or twenty years down the road -- or would you still love him?
Love is an ongoing choice you make every day of your life. You wake up every morning and you say to yourself, "I choose to love this person today and every day of my life" -- his imperfections notwithstanding. And you rejoice in the knowledge that "I get to love this person" and expect to be loved the same way in return.
Love is a privilege, not an obligation.
Given this truth, how would you apply it to your relationships?
For more dating tips click here.
Posted by Jessica Watts at 2:52 PM
Photo By: ChrisSullivan1
How To Ruin Your Success in Online Dating
Copyright (C) 2007 Elena Solomon, author of 12 Simple Rules
These days you seldom meet a single person who never tried online dating - unless they aren't Internet users.
Since you are reading this, I assume you ARE online - so this information can be crucial for your online dating success.
Most people placing personal ads on Internet dating sites seem to do everything to RUIN any of their chances for success. Are you one of them?
Here is how to ruin your online dating campaign:
1. CHOOSE A SLEAZY USER NAME
Dating sites usually display your user name in your personal profile. So, if you choose something like "hardcoreXXX" or "badgirl_69", you are sure to mess up your chances dramatically.
2. WRITE A TIMID MESSAGE
Every day I see people writing in their messages things like, "I hate this part but here it goes", "I never know what to write here" or simply "Ask me". Your personal message is the only thing in your profile that is UN-structured - the rest are usually just tick boxes. Make sure you don't say anything interesting here, so no one will feel compelled to learn more about you.
3. DON'T HAVE ANY PARTNER REQUIREMENTS
Your requirements for a partner say VOLUMES about YOU. If you do not have any requirements for a partner, you will sound absolutely desperate. No one is attracted to desperate people.
4. DON'T UPLOAD A PHOTO
Most users of dating sites search for profiles with photos. If you do not upload your photo, no one will find your ad. It will also severely damage the chances of your "Hi's", "Virtual Kisses" or "Smiles" being answered.
5. DON'T PAY FOR PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP
Usually online dating sites will allow you to place your personal ad for free, but to write to other singles, you have to buy a subscription. Although the price of subscription is cheaper than the price of a movie ticket and popcorn, you should not be tempted. By sticking with the free membership, you ensure you cannot contact anyone. Also some sites place ads of premium members on top of the search results. If you do not pay, your ad will appear on the page 247 of the search results - which will make it nearly impossible to find.
6. DON'T CONTACT OTHER MEMBERS
Most online dating services will allow you to contact other members for free by sending a "Hi", "Virtual Kiss", "Icebreaker" or "Smile" - an expression of interest, to which the other member can respond. Don't send any of those to anyone, or they may just answer positively. Think only about how bad would you feel if they rejected your advances.
7. DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING IN YOUR AD
Don't attempt to change anything in your ad. If you change something, it may just start working. Keep with what doesn't produce any results.
8. DON'T LOGIN TO THE WEBSITE - EVER
Once you placed your personal ad, immediately forget about it - and forget your user name and password, too. Don't login to the website again. If you do, your ad may jump to the top of the search results and someone may write to you. Don't take this risk. Just place the ad and forget about it.
If you follow this simple guidance, I can guarantee that you will flawlessly ruin any chances for success with online dating sites and your love life will stay just the way it is!
For more Dating tips click here.
Posted by Jessica Watts at 8:03 PM
Photo By: VintFalken
Using 'Option Limitation' to Maximize Your Success
by Tiffany Taylor
Getting girls to feel an attraction for you - that isn't simply based on your looks, the contents of your wallet or the car you've got parked outside - can be really tricky.
After all, how are men supposed to know what each girl's looking for without asking?
If you DID ask, you know your chances would be small, after all, no girl wants a guy approaching her with needy questions - she wants a confident man who somehow seems to know what she's after and can give it to her.
So how do you do it?
How do you become the man that effortlessly exudes confidence, dominance and presence, without turning into an arrogant poser or desperate wannabe?
The answer lies in psychology. It's at the heart of all persuasive social situations, and absolutely central to the success of any guy's attempts at attracting and seducing women. Quite simply, by learning the CORRECT psychological rules, principles and tactics, any guy can play and WIN at the game of seduction. For example, let's look at one such psychological technique, that used correctly boosts any guy's chance of getting a girl's number or hooking up with her at a later date by at least 50%, each and every time he uses it. It's called option limitation and works on the following principle of human nature:
When someone's presented with only a single choice, often their natural reaction will be to rebel against it and go their own way. However, when given 2 or 3 options, the opposite occurs: they feel their intellectual freedom has been respected and they make their choice from the variety of options they've been presented with.
You can use this universal psychological principle when picking-up or seducing a woman by carefully constructing how you pose important questions or phrases while talking to her.
For example, most men think saying: "Can I have your number?" is an okay way to finish a conversation that's gone well with a girl. But a much more powerful and effective way of saying the same thing would be to use option limitation. Something like: "It's been nice to meet you. Shall we swap numbers or maybe grab a bite to eat and a drink tomorrow?" What you're doing is presenting the girl with a choice between good and better - whichever she says yes to, you win. If you only give her one option, as in the first example, she's likely to create her own alternative, which means there's a chance she won't say yes to the option you gave her. When she subconsciously recognizes that she's been given a choice between multiple outcomes, she feels her intellectual freedom has been respected and she chooses one of them.
So, always use option limitation to give the impression there's a variety of options available to the girl - even though each one is fine as far as you're concerned. And to strengthen the effect of option limitation, always try to separate the choices you give the girl with the word "or." When people hear "or" they automatically recognize that they need to make a choice, and therefore do just that.
Option limitation is just one example of how, whether they know it or not, men who are successful with women CREATE that success for themselves - not through luck or good fortune.
For more Dating tips click here.
Posted by Jessica Watts at 8:15 PM