Thursday

It Only Gets Better After 30


Photo By: shermanlive

It Only Gets Better After 30

By Mimi Tanner, Author of "Calling Men"

The perception of "age" has changed drastically. Forty used to be considered "old," but now, it's anything but old!

In fact, 50 is the new 30, and 60 is the new 40. No, I'm not kidding. If you're in your 20's, then you can enjoy your extended teen years because you're so far from being "old" that it's not even on the horizon.

Now please don't write me and tell me that you're only 43 but you feel "old." You're not old!! If I could slap your hand when you say that, I would! Age is a state of mind in so many ways.

No matter what your age, you can be very alluring and charming. That's a fact. It does not depend on your life circumstances. Charm knows neither age nor disability. Charm just IS. We have all known people who are adored no matter what their age.

I find it staggering that some women write me and say that they're too "old" for love. What???

I've met giddy brides in their '70's so don't tell me "old."

My friend Amy Waterman agrees. She says that love and life get better from age 30 and beyond.

Here are some of her thoughts:

“After 30, Love Gets Better and Better!”
- by Amy Waterman

What's great about being 30 and beyond when it comes to love?

You can afford nicer dates than going to McDonald's.

I still remember my first date. We shared a strawberry milkshake at McDonald's, and I was so starry-eyed with infatuation that anything would have tasted like ambrosia. Fortunately, my dinner dates these days are much healthier and better suited to romance.

You know a bit more about life and love.

One of the scariest things about dating when you're a teenager is starting out from a state of ignorance. We're not born knowing how it all works. As exciting as it feels to kiss a boy for the first time, that heady hormonal rush is tempered by anxiety.

Very few people get through their early dating years without feeling paralyzed by a horrible fear of messing up. That's why it's so nice to have enough experience to be realistic about the whole process: dating can be disappointing, exciting, embarrassing, and exhilarating - sometimes all at the same time!

You no longer put up with crap from men.

By the time you reach your thirties, you've gained a little wisdom when it comes to relationships. You can call things what they are. You value yourself enough to say "no" to a bad situation.

Your relationship has a greater chance of lasting.

Compared with couples who marry as teenagers or in their early twenties, your relationship will stand a greater chance of lasting if you wait to marry until AT LEAST your mid-twenties. This makes sense intuitively as well as statistically. When you marry at an older age, you know yourself better. You know what you can live with. You are both more stable career wise. You've had enough dating experience to build some relationship skills.

You can see what you're getting with him.

When you're dating in your teens and twenties, the energy and ambition of youth makes it difficult to clearly see who your partner will actually turn out to be. The young man who goes to Stanford for a business degree may drop out to flip burgers and play in a band. The local jock may become the paunchy middle manager whose idea of flexing his arm muscles is lifting a beer glass.

Luckily, by the time a man reaches his thirties, his lifestyle choices will give you a good indication of where he sees himself going in life.

You've got more going on in your life than him.

Yes, for me the best part about being 30+ is that life is so much fuller, richer, and more satisfying than ever before. Whether you have a relationship or not, you've created a life that you can be proud of. You don't depend on a man for your sense of self-worth.

Dating is part of your life but not everything. As a result, relationships become something wonderful to be valued when you have them, but not despaired over when you don't.

--Amy Waterman, How to be Irresistible to Men

Thanks so much to Amy Waterman for these insights on love. Please visit her site to find out more about what she has to say.

For more dating tips click here.