This article is about Bill who I met while working at the Nuclear Plant. He was to say the least a unique person. Whenever you saw him he wore clothes that showed he was a Vietnam Veteran. Both of us worked for a private contractor Bill made welds and I inspected them. For the first few months when I went to inspect one of his welds I was the only one talking. Bill never shared a word with me. Then out of the blue while standing in line to enter the nuclear plant Bill spoke one word Hi. I returned same and that was the extent of our first conversation. Over the next month the one word turned into a sentence then an actual conversation. Bill nearly as I could tell only talked to me at work. To others that required a response like one of his bosses and we had probably six, he shook his head, pointed or made one word responses, which really irritated the second in command in our company. But no words or gestures prompted Bill to respond and those trying to talk to him would walk away frequently talking to themselves.
Bill Got all the Medals But Almost Lost Himself
Bill was a true hero and a tragedy of a war this country didn’t have the will to win. Bill re opted and received all the major medals a soldier could receive while over seas fighting for his country. When the last Marines helicopter lifted off our last embassy in Vietnam Bill was waiting on the ship that transported those last persons home to America. Bill probably got spit on by someone when he first got home, but according to his Mother he never retaliated in same. He just took the abuse and walked away. Bill apparently had many issues, which were developed during his in tenure in the Marines.
Bill Didn't Share Himself Normally
He always wore the same type of clothes, which you could tell were the original uniform of a Vietnam Vet. During our friendship I never saw him wear anything else. Those who knew him always took a different path then his because his tallness and unfriendly demeanor left those that knew him with an impression that he was like a grenade ready to go off. Bill lived in his own world and seldom wondered out to share his feelings with anyone.
Then One Day We Shared Lunch
Then one day I was eating my lunch and Bill wondered by and asked if he could join me. I said of course and that’s when we started being friends and even had normal conversations like normal people. At the time I didn’t know that we were developing a friendship together. Only when he died did I truly understand what real friendship meant. For a time I hardly spoke then Bill started asking me questions and I cautiously started asking him questions to. In time throught this process I learned the horrors he experienced and the methods he developed to survive while he was there. In many ways he was like the Rambo person in the movies though his part was real. One time he told me how he and his special group would go into the jungle and hide for days at a time and never move. He said they would wait for Viet con to walk by and then they would cause them to be no more. He showed no expression on his face when telling me this story.
Bill Was My Friend
Then one day I learned the value of my friendship with Bill. One of my duties was to inspect lockers, which were used by welders and pipe fitters that were employed by the company I worked for. I generally did this distasteful job on Friday before leaving for the day. Everyone knew I did this because it was my job and they didn’t hold it against me. If I found something suspicious I was required to contact a certain person and write out an inspection report. In this one persons locker I found this special pipe-cutting tool that had been reported stolen by someone. The person that used that locker was informed of my inspection and was fired. Before he left he confronted me with two of his buddies. Before I could say anything Bill stepped in front of me and grabbed the person by the throat with one hand and told them if they ever touched me he would squeeze harder the next time. The three left and never bothered me again. That’s the power of a good friend. It was like having a big brother. It didn’t take long for the word to pass throught the plant. And the word was leave Don alone he’s my friend. I’m not sure if everyone was impressed but I sure was.
Then I Passed a Message from Maggie to Bill
Maggie was a Security Guard and frequently did security duty by walking from one check point to another and so noted problems if there were any. On one of her travels she stopped me and asked questions about Bill; eventually she got to the point of her visit she wanted to meet Bill. I was surprised by this statement from her and so noted my feelings by saying are you kidding? And then I said why? She said I like the way he dresses and He reminds me of my Father who was killed in the Cambodia. I said Bill doesn't like anyone. She said he likes you and why don't you think he wouldn't like me? I said ok Ill pass the message on to Bill. Bill said ok and now he had two friends me and her. For awhile I was kind of jealous, but that passed quickly and we all had lunches together. Then the miracle happened Maggie blurted out will you marry me? Bills eyes opened completely for the first time ever and then just left. In time he sorted it all out and said ok.
The War & Cancer Challenged Bill & Then He Ended It
Eventually the both units of the Nuclear Plant became operational and I was relieved of my job and so was Bill. We parted after having a few drinks. I told him to call if he ever needed to talk to his friend. He smiled and that was the last time I saw him or Maggie. Then two years later on New Years Eve I answered the phone and bill was on the line. We talked probably for an hour and it was great hearing from him. He said he and Maggie were living with his Mother. The next day his Mother called me and said her son committed suicide at mid night. She said he left a note and asked me to call you and say good by and thanks for being my first friend. She said he died of cancer caused by a chemical the marines used to stop the foliage from growing in the forests of Vietnam. She said they sprayed it from airplanes and sometimes it drifted over to our troops and exposed them to getting cancer. She said her son often spoke of me and said we Maggie and I were his only friends his only friends in the world. She told me with a cracking sound in her voice thank you for being my son’s friend. She hung up and I cried like a baby.
Why Blame the Soldier?
Bill was the product of a bad war and then the country he fought for killed him. To me that was a raw deal and people like Bill didn’t deserve the hollering of those who called him and his buddies baby killers. Bill and his buddies did what they were told to do and that makes them a hero to me. For those who think otherwise I say grow up and smell the roses and see life as it really is. Bill and his buddies gave you by their sacrifice the opportunity to live in peace a little longer.
Were Proud of You
For all of those person like Bill who gave their best and then were humiliated by the very people they protected; I say with every fiber of my being thank you for what you did and endured for your country. I know God has a special place prepared for you. Where people don’t spit and you wont hear the words baby killer. This place will clear your mind and bring you the peace you so bravely granted to those in America. May God Bless Bill and his buddies.
I mention this story only to make the point that love crosses all bridges of difficulty so take heart and give your heart to someone like Maggie did and say I love you and will you marry me? That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by kk+
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 8:48 AM
Change Occupations & Find New Dates
Sometimes we make are hardest decisions because we have no other choices. All to often we select options that help us through situations. Like for example when we need to pay are bills but were temporarily out of work and money is short in supply; many times we solicit help from generous people around us. This option if abused will eventually run dry like a water hole in the dessert. When this happens we do what we should have done in the first place. Get serious and find a job, even if it requires being on the bottom of the rung of the ladder and often times as not it turns out to be a good decision on our part. But humans being what they are general don’t make this change till it is absolutely required. I guess we don’t like to move out of our comfort zone. We see new things as fearful and would rather stay where we feel ok.
I remember when one of these times when I needed to find a new job but hesitated because I knew it would require me to learn new things which bothered me a little because I didn’t do well in school. But circumstance forced me to over ride my concern and I applied for a Security job at a local Nuclear Plant. I applied for the job on Thursday and was working the following Monday. It seems I was a prime candidate for the job. I had a good driving record, wasn’t on drugs and have never been convicted of any crime. So they welcomed me with open arms. First I walked the grounds and buildings and punched in at certain checkpoints. I liked the job and got to meet many contractors who offered me jobs from time to time. I found out that I was in demand because I knew where everything was and that was a big plus. Finding out where locations were was a big challenge for every new employee whether they were working for private contractors, the power company or a government employee.
Quality Control Inspector
So in time I changed jobs and started working for a company that inspected welds. The company put me on a training program that involved going to certain schools that taught me the fine art of checking certain types of welds. At the height of my learning I was qualified to inspect probably six types of welds and document same. It was a good job and paid well. Sometimes during rush times we worked double shifts boy did they produce a nice paycheck.
Dating Opportunities Were Every Where
During my one-year tenure with the nuclear business I enjoyed meeting numerous girls that worked there. Those meetings produced many dates and generated many partial friendships. It’s like you become one big family and everyone has a connection together. I learned and enjoyed my time there. I would hardily recommend this kind of environment to anyone wishing to have a good job that affords the opportunity to meet members of the opposite sex and serve a vital service in the process.
Try New Positions and Find New Dating Partners
So don’t be afraid to move out of your comfort zone, because new opportunities bring new acquaintances and that produces dates, which generate the feelings that two people produce. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by cogdogblog
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 7:22 AM
Offer to Help
Helping someone is a great way to meet or get connected with someone through the help of others. Sure a lot of the time you’ll just help and nothing will seem to come from it. But little do you know whats going on behind the scenes.
Helping Helps You Find a Date
I have over the years helped numerous friends, family members and friends of those two groups I just mentioned. And often times then not nothing positive developed during the heavy lifting of sofas and varied sizes of boxes. But later new names of people would be added to my list of those that I know and sometimes much later after meeting someone a connection is made and word sharing is created. And talking is the first step in getting a toehold in the door and sometimes that leads to togetherness. And if I hadn’t helped someone along the way the togetherness would have never happened.
In Time the Fog Lifts
My oldest son who bears my name recently shared some of his infinite wisdom with me. He said life is like going through a fog and because of that you never know how close you are to reaching the goal of success your looking for. And this thinking explains the journey of dating to a tee. Finding a date is like walking through the fog and then walla there stands your date. Imagine if you gave up because of the fog and you only had to take one more step and success would be achieved.
A Perfect Match
As near as I can determine most singles are looking to find their match and live happily ever after. Most will not find their match because they give up to early and then just end up with the next best choice, which will never fill the slot for the match of your life. To avoid having this happen to you requires persistence of purpose and knowing that soon the fog will lift and there will be standing the person whose heart perfectly matches yours. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by lorelei
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 12:39 PM
Stop Dating & Just Speak
Trying to find a date is probably one of the most difficult activities that most people experience in their lifetime. Maybe it would be good thinking to avoid this traumatic experience and just spend all your time just wandering around and just making friends or acquaintances and then see what develops from that. Kind of like taking your camera pictures in and seeing how they turn out. I personally enjoy talking to people and make that connection every time I’m in their proximity. Like trying to find a date by saying something to someone most of the time generates words or gestures that brought us together for one brief moment. Now if I see that newbie again and the connection is made again then we move one-step closer to knowing each other and now we are know longer strangers. And then the chance of sharing space together becomes closer to reality if both parties by their words and gestures say yes. Yes maybe represented by a smile, giggle or a twinkle in the eyes.
All the Lost Opportunities
Look back on all the times you have spoken to someone and never added a special word to the conversation that would have sparked a reaction that showed you shared an interest in them.
All It Takes is One Spoken Word
Communication of this nature might work when one party to the conversation is paying attention to what is being said and notices a slight change of words that represent a tiny approach towards you in the hope that you will respond in kind and then something new happens and then the ball starts rolling in the right direction for both parties. Its like sharing words that give you both the feeling that each is attempting to say lets just talk and see how that works. Maybe the word connection will happen because you share a common interest. When this happens just be yourself and talk like you normally do and if your words jell maybe you two will jell and wouldn’t that be swell. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by mcaretaker
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 11:26 AM
In the early stages of my working I was employed at a local hospital. This hospital was located in a town that sometimes resembled the town of Tombstone in the movies. Hardly did a week go by that gun-toting residents didn’t demonstrate their rights to bare arms. Sometimes this activity produced results that were counter productive to the person wheeling the gun.
Doctor had No Patience for Gun Totting Desperado's
I remember one such case while I was helping maintain order in the Emergency Room. It was Friday night and the time was probably 9 PM. Normally Friday and Saturday were the busiest nights of the week. Most accidents and injuries involved cars, guns or booze, or any combination there of. On this particular night my favorite doctor was in attendance. His proper title was Doctor Kennedy. To those that regularly worked the Emergency Room he was referred to as Doctor Dead. He was ordained this title because his approach to patients was delivered with no expression on his face. Doctor Kennedy had know patience or sympathy for anyone carelessly causing harm to themselves or someone else by recklessly using one of the aforementioned items.
Gun Went Off and Family Business Changed
On this particular night business was booming and Doctor Dead was gloomier then usual. A gentleman was brought into the Emergency Room by ambulance. He had inadvertently shot himself in the lower frontal area. If I got the jest of the story right he thought his wife was fooling around on him, while he worked at night. So on this particular night he decided to confront his wife and the boyfriend. An interested party told him that the two of them met every Friday night at this particular bar. He said he took his gun and went to the bar to scare the man so he would leave his wife alone. So there he was in the bar waiting for the cheaters to arrive. When they walked in he grabbed for his gun, which was in his front pocket. The gun got stuck he pulled and the gun went off.
No More Children
Doctor Kennedy observed the injured area and asked the gentlemen if he had any children? The man said yes. The doctor said that’s a good thing because you’re not having any more.
A Cover May Block Your Vision
This story teaches us that cheating, jealousy, mating and guns don’t mix. If your dating includes any of the aforementioned words? stop, get help and hide till the storm passes. Because if you don't, a doctor may cover your face and an orderly will deliver you to the Morgue. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by Drab Makyo
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 8:31 AM
Animal Loving Men Gravitated to Her
I had a family member who lost her husband when she was fifty. She being an out spoken person wasted know time in trolling for a new husband. Her strategy was to use her ankle bitter to help in meeting men in the neighborhood. She lived in a high-end community. Her x was the senior vice president of the largest bank in Detroit. I got the impression they weren’t hurting for the material things of life.
Knew Rich Available Men Lived in the Neighborhood
She knew thru contacts with her x husband that there were at least three widowed men in a six-block radius of her home. She walked the dog three times daily and eventually snagged a lonely man. With in six months they were married.
Imagine What a Well Meaning Person Could Attract
This family member and her first husband used to visit my parents twice yearly and I can tell you that she was no bargain to be around. Only questions came out of her mouth and the next question always came before you finished answering the first inquiry. She never smiled and hardly ever uttered a word that implied she cared about anyone but herself.
She Wasn't a Candidate for Saint Hood
She insisted her husband cater to her every need. I marveled at his ability to maintain his composure. He took her nagging and never spoke an unkind word to her in my presence. I always wondered why he put up with this mean spirited person. He was a soft-spoken man and deserved a quality person rather then the wicked witch from the Wizard of Ozz.
He Always Told me to be Myself & Dream, I Wondered if He Did
The last time they visited my parents he was skinny as a rail and could hardly speak without coughing. Months after this family gathering he passed away. My parents attended his funeral and discovered he died of cancer. His passing made me sad because he was always kind to me and encouraged me to fulfill my dreams.
It Isn't About Deserving, Its About Trying
I’m telling you this story to show you that unkind people find mates. Imagine how successful you could be, being a nice person. There’s know question in my mind that people are struggling to find someone to date and they our willing to except low quality people because the good people aren’t trying hard enough to meet them.
So Be Seen & You Will be Found
So use your dog or rent one and walk or display your kindness anyway you can, because your valuable and someone will cherish that quality if you let them. So open your door and let suitors in. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by Steve Parker
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 8:00 AM
Dating for the Wrong Reason
Dating someone that is not working for you is a bad idea. First it’s not fair to them it gives them hope which you know will not happen. Yes I know what you’re probably going to say; at least it’s someone to date. Yes that is true, but would you want someone to do that to you? So be fair it’s the right thing to do. I know this response is most of the time a killer to a dating situation, but here’s the right thing to do. Tell the person its not working for you, but you would love to develop a friendship and see if that might happen. Whether it does or doesn’t it’s the right thing to do and you know it.
Not Good for Either Party
There are other reasons why dating someone that’s not working for you is a bad thing. When you date someone you are implying in some degree that you are some what committed to each other. Others who might want to meet each of you will in the most part not try to connect with you because they sense a no trespassing sign on your forehead and that means not available. So staying with someone just to have a dating partner is not a good thing for you.
Change Your Relationship or Let Go
But look at the up side you might thru this process create a friendship and that’s nothing to sniff at. Friends are hard to find, maybe this person interested you because you just like them. Like with Grace and Will there not compatible lifetime partners but they are friends and friends are far and few between. But make sure the person in question clearly understands where you’re coming from and isn’t hanging around under false hopes. If you think they’re agreeing with you, but show signs that would imply other wise squash the deal and make a clean break. Having an x around can and frequently does cause confrontations that lead to bad conclusions.
Giving the Wrong Impression is Just Wrong
Deceiving someone who has warm feelings for you is a unkind thing to do and its doesn’t help you feel good about yourself. So be the person that would make you proud of yourself. So date, mate, find a friend or just leave it be. Living a happy life is hard to do when you leave a trail of dead bodies; that hurt because you were unkind. Doing the right thing may not always produce instant niceness but it will help you sleep better at night. So sleep on and like yourself better and find Love. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by lynn smith
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 9:35 AM
Share Who You Like With Others
I have always felt that connecting with people always works better going thru other people first. We as human beings share information from one another. It’s just what we do. We are not great keepers of information. If it goes in our head and it generally goes out our mouth. So if you tell someone you like someone it probably in time will reach the person you like. If the person in question likes you; that will propel them to do likewise to you in reverse. This will start the ball rolling. This is what I call people sharing. Its kind of like jungle drums if enough people hear the drums and drum on, then the message will get out and maybe two interested parties will wonder together over a Whopper at Burger King. This is not a plug but just a location that gravitated out of my brain. Though I would consider being their spoke person. Hey a burger once in awhile is good for all of us.
Sharing Wont Hurt You
But just think about it. You face no upfront rejection by commenting to someone that you like someone else. It’s easy to do and if you don’t get a positive result try drumming someone else. It’s like birds trying to mate. They sing their mating songs until a mate arrives.
Like Beating Drums in the Jungle
Unless you’re perfect which no one is, you need help moving closer to people. Sending out smoke signals can be a very productive way to generate people of interest. Its human nature to blab, so blab. Remember the slogan an apple a day keeps the doctor away. So apply this thinking to your life. Shared information will keep loneliness away. Sure rejection will happen, but so what, its better then just standing still. If you don’t move from where you are, that’s where you will be tomorrow. Rejection hurts and disappoints, but wont kill us. Think of rejection as just part of the process. Sales people deal with this kind of thinking all the time. They know that they must face so many rejections before they make a sale.
In Time Someone Will Help You Meet Someone
So reject, reject, reject and then find someone who likes you. It may not last, but it will be a learning experience and more experience makes us better drummers. And take it from one who knows; Your Love Mate is drumming for you too. In time your beats will match and love will sweep you off your feet. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by photographia
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 9:49 AM
Dating Requires Talking
How are your speaking skills? Do you generally talk to someone if they are close to you? Or are you one of those people who hardly talk to anyone. If you’re a talker you’ll probably have more luck connecting with people. Talking goes hand and hand with meeting people and meeting people leads to dating and dating if your interested will lead to a lasting relationship.
Practice Promotes Dating Success
I get up every day and like most people go places and do things. When I get close to people I talk, look in their eyes and smile. Most people respond in kind. It’s amazing how easy it is to make that simple connection. True its not finding a date but it is necessary to start the ball rolling. You never know when you’re going to turn a connection into a date. In general I think most people like to talk and talking is good for you. I personally think it’s emotionally good for you. Whether you realize it or not talking is the beginning road to being ok in life. Casual conversation helps us resolve issues in our life. It helps bring clarity to life and in general it just makes us feel better and feeling better is what life is all about.
Talking Negative Doesn't Help Dating
Like a coin talking has two sides on one side it helps, on the other it’s a negative thing. I have an acquaintance who loves to talk and he is a really nice person, but he seldom gets off the down side of life. His words explain his life and how badly it is going. I don’t think he realizes the harm he is doing himself by being that way. I hope he finds his joy and sticks to it. The point I’m trying to make is that people, as a rule would rather be up beat and hear kind words that make them feel better.
Dating Requires Ringing the Bell
Words are like keys they open things. In dating words open doors that in time lead to happiness, that’s of course, if you’re a patient person and keep trying. If you don’t try and I can almost predict the dating success your going to have, does the word zero ring any bells for you. My parents God rest their souls used to own an amusement park and one of the concessions they had was a bell ringing game, which required a person to use a large wooden hammer to pound a device which propelled an object upward on a metal rail. If hit hard enough the object would make the bell ring, which was located on the top of the rail. This was a way to impress your girl friend with your manly browses or something like that. Once again the point I'm trying to make is that if you don’t talk you wont ring the bell and finding someone will be harder to do.
The Word Hey May get You a Date
No matter where you are or what you’re doing you can always finding something around you to talk about. Yesterday we were at McDonalds and in walked twin girls probably two years old they were adorable. I couldn’t help but say to the Mother I bet you’re the proudest Mother ever. Her response was to smile and that is what I call talking.
Being Special Draws Special Dates
Think of talking as the road to a better life for yourself and someone else. So take it from someone who had to learn how to talk to others. Talking will help you help yourself and that if you desire it will lead to the most special thing on the face of the earth and that is someone who is special and thinks you are special. So talk on and be special and maybe two specials will have a Special Event. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by PinkMoose
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 6:38 AM
Dating But Still Waiting?
So what are you waiting for? Do you expect that special person to just fall down from the sky? Its kind of like waiting for a bus that doesn’t pick people from your location. We as human beings have great expectations but don’t seem to want to do anything to make them happen. Its like love will find me and I don’t have to do anything to make it happen. Someone once said we go to bed without making any effort that day and expect tomorrow to be different from today. Yes some people just stand still and the universe showers all things on them, but that isn’t the norm for the rest of us. If you’re the norm like I am you better start working for what you want because that’s the way things really change in life. Standing on the corner may get you the bus but then you have to get on the bus for it to take you somewhere. Finding someone is all about getting on the bus. Progress requires action and action doesn’t as a rule happen by itself. So if you are looking for someone get off you’re duff and start looking. Even the bible requires action here’s a quote to prove my point. Ask and you shall receive seek and you shall find knock and the door will be opened unto you. See if you don’t believe me take the words from the book of all books. So how many doors have you opened lately?
Your Invisible to Potential Dates
My oldest son who is the knower of all things. I know this because he tells me he is. Quotes himself or someone else by saying there is no you. What he is saying is that to the rest of the world there is no you. Everyone else is concerned about their lives and don’t really focus much attention on you. So don’t be shy because no one is watching you. Go ahead and make an ass out of yourself. So my theory is this, if making an ass of myself helps me, then that is a good thing and Martha would back up my thinking. God knows Martha did.
Quote From Dr. Phil
So once again what are you waiting for? Dr. Phil would say how’s that working out for you? Unless your one of the lucky ones, it isn’t.
Hot or Cold
Have you every heard the term you can take a horse to water but you cant make him drink. If you find yourself going to the well but not drinking maybe you should try a faucet. At least from there you can have two choices hot or cold.
Because Your Afraid I'm Alone
If you don’t face your fears and try you may spend the rest of your life alone. I once saw a picture of a girl poorly dressed and huddled in a burned out building. The wording under the picture said because your afraid, I’m alone. I personally feel that there are an infinite number of mates everywhere for each of us. So know matter where you are, there are life mates for you, so stop waiting and get on the bus; Then sit next to someone and just start talking. And keep getting on buses till someone strikes your fancy and the fancy is mutual. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by stefg
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 7:10 AM
Dating Works Better When You Smile
Smiling makes you more user friendly, people feel more comfortable about approaching you. Smiling opens doors that would otherwise be closed.
Smiling & Happy Feelings are Powerful Dating Tools
Smiling backed up with happy feelings will really do the trick. Smiling brings out smiling from the person your smiling at. It’s like a natural thing of nature smile and they will smile back at you. Go ahead right now and smile at the first person you see? Ill bet they smiled back.
Successful Daters Always Make Eye Contact First & Then smile
I think humans relate to happiness that is directed at them. I seem to approve of people who smile at me. Try it and see how it works out for you. Go to a store and make eye contact with someone and smile. Do this and observe what they do in return to you. You will be pleasantly surprised at their response to your smiling at them.
Direct Your Dating Smile to Them
Here is really the correct way to smile at people. When you first make eye contact don’t be smiling but smile instantly after that. You want them to see you first without a smile and then with one and keep the smiling going for a second or two. You’ll be amazed how well it works.
The Closer the Smile the Better it Works
The closer you are to the person your smiling at makes the whole thing work even better. When there close you can even throw in a thought or two. For example you can say words that are personal or generic to the area you’re in. Recently I was in my doctor’s office and I smiled at this lady she returned same and I said why do we always have to wait so long before seeing the doctor? She agreed that’s the beginning of a conversation if I want it to go further.
Smile, then Try Words
Try approaching everything in your life with a smile and then if possible follow up with words, this practice will in time become natural. It will help you connect with people and that will lead to dating and that’s what the Dating Play Book is all about.
People Like People that Smile
A smile when done with feelings is always received with open arms. Think about all the time your not smiling. When you don’t smile people don’t smile at you and that’s a negative thing to you. Smiling is like a sunny day it makes you feel good all over. Never underestimate the power of a smile. Learn to smile and talk at the same time. It’s a tactic that will warm the heart of those who you talk to. It will give people a reason to like you and what’s the harm in that.
Never Say Smile to Someone, Show by Example Only
Never suggest to people they smile, that will not be received well by the other person. Teaching the art of smiling is best taught by example so be a good example and smile all the time. That’s my story and I live by it and Love Rules.
Don L. Terrill,
photo by powerbooktrance
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 10:07 AM
Dating Successfully Requires Alcohol in Moderation
It hard enough to make good decisions when you’re sober its darn near impossible when you’re drinking too much. Alcohol and common sense never seem to jell and create good judgment. Always ask yourself when your drinking is this a good thing I’m about to do? Most of the time you will answer yourself by saying no. Alcohol loosens our will power and that makes us vulnerable to making bad decisions. One such decision is having children when their not planned for. Everything seems so right when you’re drinking, but in the morning you have regrets. Sometimes alcohol and sex leads to aids and that will change your life forever. Please always remember there is no cure for aids.
Sober Daters Make Better Daters
I’m not opposed to drinking. I myself enjoying a little wine just before hitting the sack. It helps put me in the right frame of mind to sleep better. This of course could be just a big bag of baloney and I’m buying it because I just like the wine. Either way I think Ill keep doing it as long as it’s a good experience.
Drinking While Dating Changes peoples Personality
I know this young man who has a drinking problem. The sad part is he is really a good person when he stays off the booze. He like Doctor Jeckle and Mr. Hyde. I think he’s been going to college for five years and still doesn’t have his associate’s degree. He used to drive now he uses a motorbike, which I understand someone just ripped off his bike and he’s now walking or taking the bus. Not too many years ago he was an assistant manager at a local establishment and made over thirty thousand dollars a year. At this time he was going to college part time. Now I doubt if he’s making one hundred dollars per week.
Potential Daters Avoid Him
Most of the people he knows avoid him because he turns into a raging drunk when he drinks too much. So he for all practical purposes has only his close family to count on and there help and understanding is almost at a breaking point.
Dating & Alcohol in Moderation
I like this person very much, but see only doom for him on this current course in his life. I would find joy in seeing him find himself and be happy for the rest of his life. Life and dating is best served by drinking in moderation. That’s my story and I sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by rileyroxx
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 8:24 AM
So What Makes Dating So Hard?
What do you think human beings do more then anything else? Would it surprise you to know, that the answer is talk. Think about all the time you spend talking. Does this constant babble bother or scare us? The answer of course is no. Talking is as natural as blowing our nose when we have a cold. So why does it bother us to talk to a person were interested in dating? I think it is because we fear rejection. If we could over come this rejection stuff, talking to the opposite sex would be a snap to do. After all we talk to the opposite sex all the time and it doesn’t cause us to fear rejection.
Forget Dating & Just Talk
Yesterday to prove my point, I visited three department stores and asked questions of numerous employees of the opposite sex. Most of these questions involved where could I find a certain product. Some ladies told me where to go, others walked me to the product and shared information with me. Here’s the interesting point I’m trying to make, at know time did I experience rejection. Is that interesting or what? So maybe there’s something we can learn from this experience.
Pretend Your Talking to Someone You Already know
Here’s my theory about this whole thing. Rejection only shows it ugly head when we ask a dating question. Knowing this we might better serve ourselves by avoiding a dating question, until we feel it will be more favorable received.
Talk Till Words of I Like You Show Up
Until we feel more comfortable, maybe we should treat this person as just a person and not someone were interested in dating. By doing this we can just do what we always do and that is just talk. Maybe in time we will hear words or see gestures that will move us closer to a dating question.
Your Goal is to Develop a Talking Habit
Here’s another good point. Asking non-dating questions of the opposite sex will help you built up your confidence. It will become commonplace in your life. So go ahead and ask, but don’t use the dating question. Remember the goal is worth the journey. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
photo by pedrosimoes7
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 9:10 AM