Why Most of Us Fail at Dating

Because Were Clueless What to Do

We fail primarily because we don’t know what were doing. We use our senses but fail to use the one element all human beings have and that is how we feel. Two months ago my wife and I purchased an all most new car it was one year old. We had decided previously that we weren’t going to buy a new car because it just didn’t make sense to do that. Primarily because it losses ten to fifteen percent of its valve when you drive it off the lot. We took it for a ride and decided to purchase it. Before doing the deal the sales person who was a person we knew pointed out extras we had like a sliding roof and etc, which we didn’t even know we had. We negotiated a lower price and drove the car home.

Were not Paying Attention to Things

All was well for a while but then we acquired a slow leaking tire and one of the glove compartments wouldn’t close properly. We had same fixed and all was well again. I mentioned the extras, leaking tire and the compartment to point out the fact that we as humans don’t as a rule pay close attention to what were doing and because of this fail to observe things that will disappoint us in the future and we will have few options to correct these oversights.

We Don't Open Our Mind

Were just not good at paying attention and that hurts us later on. Now here’s the really down side to not paying strict attention to what were doing. We take this mentality and apply it to the most important things we will ever do in our life. Selecting a future mate for life requires strict attention to selecting someone and using the right criteria for making that decision.

Finding Value Requires Open Eyes

In buying things etc. you want to make sure the item will perform the task for which it is intended. If it won’t it’s worthless and will never work for you. The solution for this dilemma is to return the product and get your money back. This process doesn’t work as well with marrying someone and expecting to live in a loving relationship for ever after. Failing to make a well-informed decision here may give you a life of drudgery and a loveless relationship; and the fruit produced will be contaminated by the climate they live in. So it is critical that mating decisions be done by selecting the right criteria to make the best decision you can make before joining hands in holy matrimony.

If Your Feelings Don't Over Whelm You Count Till Sense Returns

In this particular situation you will want to turn off all your senses and make your decision on only one indicator and that is this. Now pay attention this is going to be the best information that you will ever receive on this subject matter. How does this person make you feel? Forget about everything else that’s influencing you. So back to the question how does the person make you feel? Now here’s the time you want to be brutally honest with yourself. If you’re not completely over whelmed with incredible feelings of joy your not mating with the correct person for you. Please don’t make the mistake I did the first time. My first marriage ended in disaster because I failed to be honest with myself and only saw what I wanted to see and that wasn’t real it was just make believe and make believe will never become the real thing.

It Only About Love

So please don’t be confused by what you see, looks are only showing you what the exterior looks like. Many people look good but that doesn’t mean they will be good for you. All these external attractions are like what you see at the circus, when every tent, ride and concession is up and running everything seems wonderful. Then in a few days the circus moves on and the only thing that is left is an empty field that only shows the ruts in the ground from vehicles pulling out to find another spot to set up their displays again.

Love Feelings Are Permanent

If your looking for the real thing first and foremost let your feelings do the walking before you make any commitments to anyone. If their right for you the feelings you feel will stand the test of time and will never change no matter what obstacles you will face.

So take it from one who knows. Only your feelings speak the truth to you. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill

photo by bettybraun