A Fire Brougth Them Together

No Goal No Touchdown

I have lots of goals and each time I reach one I grow bigger at being a better human being. No goals keep me where I am and that’s just not good enough for me. It’s like making a goal while playing football, its one step closer to being the best at what ever your reaching for.

And goal setting and reaching those goals is critically helpful in finding that special person or keeping that special persons heart close to your heart. After all why find that special person and then let that special person slip thru your fingers because you stopped making points to keep them on your team. And never forget love only stays while the signals are saying I love you.

Jack was a person with a goal in mind. Jack owned a rental business that furnished pool tables and a whole assortment of games that challenged players to win. So Jack understood the process of trying to achieve at something in his life.

Now that the business could support more then himself Jack focused his vision on a special person that as of today has only spoken to him thru a bullet proof glass at his local bank drive in. He told me during our conversation that he didn’t even know her name, but something keep telling him don’t give up.

She Was First to Say Hey

Then one day the bank caught on fire while he was attempting to turn into the drive in via a side road. Fire trucks quickly blocked his ability to move his truck so he got out and tried to move closer to see what was happening. Little did he know that fate was going to do him a favor. Without realizing it Jill the teller of interest was standing behind him and then a voice he thought he recognized compelled him to turn around. And what he viewed totally consumed him and then she finally said hey and he heyed back. And that hey opened the door and seven months later they got married at Niagara Falls.

Which brings me to a story learned in school Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill fell after him.

You never know when a voice will lure you to them. So go ahead and turn around and take a chance. My thought your turn.

Don L. Terrill

photo by wili_hybrid


Afraid to Love?

Fear Love Will Fail You Again.

That’s where I used to be. It’s amazing the kind of clarity that age brings to a person. My first marriage played havoc with my thinking and because of that my mind pretty much concealed this information from me. But silently it leaked out from under the door and it quietly kept me from getting too close to anyone. The leak echoed the words stop don’t get to close. Remember the hurt you felt the first time? Oh in a small measure I knew the influence it had on me, but I never truly realized just how much.

So for nineteen and a half years I looked for love and told myself no under my breath and my breath was winning the battle.

So tell me? Have you tried and failed? And now do you carry the same disease that plagued me. Well be of good cheer, for I shall lead you out of the wilderness.

Here’s the deal, things happen and sometimes the results are painful to us. But we are the main character in our brain and thus have the ability trounce painful thoughts into the dust where they belong.

Logic is your best friend in this situation. So sit down and tell yourself whats happening to you. For example. I know I’m hurting myself because of what happened in my first marriage and starting today this thinking is know longer going to be a burden to me. I’m the boss and I’m sick and tired of feeling bad about that time in my life. From this day forth I’m going to change my thinking one-day at a time.

Here’s what I did!

I looked in the mirror and told myself it happened, its over and feeling bad about it is a total waste of time. And I’m sure I replayed this procedure at least a thousand times and finally like a bad taste in my mouth it didn’t bother me anymore.

And finally one day I woke up and realized that the bad influence from my past was past history to me. And boy was that a magic moment in my life.

So try my method or create your own. Either way get the job done, so you can move on and find true wellness in your future.

You’ll find meeting people easier when the wall of hurt gets removed from your thinking.

Don L. Terrill

photo by Fábio Pinheiro

They Met at the B.A.B

Beach Walkers

Barb and Jack lived across the street from each other but didn’t really meet until they both journeyed thru the maze of divorce. Barb was in her early thirties and Jack seven years her senior. It’s funny that they never really talked while sharing the same street. But that’s how strange life is sometimes.

Then one night they meet at the B.A.B. (translation Bare Ass Beach) this was the local watering hole where many a young man walked the sandy beach to demonstrate his manhood. Those who did this were called the beach walkers (mainly because their manhood showed greater promise). Life has told me that size doesn’t matter, but I think, that may not, be entirely true.

Jack could have been a beach walker but I think his modesty held him back. On this particular night four of us young ins were camping out on the beach trying to catch fish, which seldom happened. Then Jack arrived and quickly shed his garments and jumped in the creek via an unused railroad bridge.

While Jack was in the water four slightly intoxicated ladies arrived to view the contents of the local place that their mothers probably told them to avoid, because nakedness romped free there. The ladies with bottles in hand chose the high view of the bridge and watched as Jack exited the water. They exited stage left giggling and jack glowed red in the moonlight. (Translation is was embarrassed)

Sometime later Barb observed Jack cutting the grass and came over to apologize for acting so foolish. Jack slightly flushed apologized also for demonstrating inappropriate behavior in a public place. And that was their first meeting, which eventually lead to I Do.

I wonder if they Ever told their Children how they Met?

So doing something got them together. So what are you doing to make your meeting happen? No happen no meeting. Maybe walking across the street will make your moment happen. And maybe that moment will show something to you?

Don L. Terrill

photo by mike@bensalem


Persistence Paid Off

The Heart Requires Effort

My Father who was named Horace James Terrill. He said his Mother had an admiration for Jesse James, hence his middle name was selected. Dad was born in a small mountain town in Kentucky. His father was a Minister who frequently visited his flock by traveling on horseback. He and his Brothers lived a very isolated life. They had little communication with the outside world. Only strangers from time to time, gave them ideas, of what the outside world was like. My Father and his one brother, always talked about leaving and visiting the rest of the world.

Dad Started with His Thumb

One night before going to bed they plotted a plan to leave. In the morning before anyone was awake they both gathered up the little clothes they had and left the only life, they had ever known. In time they discovered a well-traveled road, while on the road they learned the fine art of hitch hiking. They acquired this practice by watching others doing it.

The Railroad Offered Them a Ride

After days of traveling, they came across a railroad terminal, which later proved to be their final mode of transportation, to what my dad called the promise land. While in this terminal town, they worked at numerous jobs making money and saving some of same for their continued journey. Their ultimate goal was to reach a big city, like Chicago or Detroit. While in the small train town they learned a new mode of transportation and that was jumping in boxcars, while they were stopped for water, coal or wood. These supplies were needed to produce steam, which propelled the train to move. They had to always be on alert for the railroad police, who were not kind, in removing free riders from the train.

Dad Chose Car Country

They finally reached a juncture where they had two choices. One track led to Chicago, the other to Detroit. My dad choice the tract to Detroit, his brother chose Chicago and so their combined journey ended and each developed a new destination. While ridding in the boxcars, Dad would learn were He was, by talking to others, who were in the boxcars with him. Soon he was told they were arriving at a town called St. Joseph, which was located on the edge of Lake Michigan. He jumped from the boxcar as it slowed down, preparing to stop for passengers, the ones who paid their fares. Little did he know, that his drop off point was only a few blocks away, from were his future wife lived.

Found a Job with His Future Father In Law

After numerous jobs in the area, he met his future father in law, who offered him a job at his Amusement park. This park was called Silver Beach Amusement Park and it was located next to lake Michigan and the St. Joseph River.

Her Answer Was Always No

In time, he met his future bride and fell head over heals in love with her. My Mother said My Dad asked her to marry him at least a hundred times, she always said no. This greatly bothered and confused my Father, because he knew in his heart, my Mother loved him.

That's How I Came to Be

Finally my Father figured out what he was doing wrong. He corrected his marriage proposal and approached his future Father In Law and asked for his daughter's hand in marriage. Mr. Drake my Grand Father exclaimed in a loud voice, it's about time, I thought you would never ask. And that's how my parents united and found me.

Dad Didn't Know the Word No

To my Father, I say thank you Dad for teaching me the valve of persistence. Love does not always arrive in a chariot of gold and is easy to obtain. Sometimes you have to persist, like my Dad did.

I offer this article as a Memorial to my Father, who passed away in 1985. Thanks Dad, I'm proud to be your son.

Don L. Terrill

photo by JRAWLS


A Note Brought Them Together

Found His Belongings on the Front Porch

Jim was a tall lanky person. He had married twice and both ended in divorce. Jim's first marriage started while he was working an oil rig in upper Michigan. He was frequently away from home weeks at a time. On this occasion he was away for one month. When he returned home, he found all his processions in the enclosed front porch. He found a note on the front door. It read, I want a divorce; I’ve found someone else. As soon as you relocate, mail me your address and Ill send the divorce papers to you. His second marriage ended in a similar fashion.
Needless to say Jim had a bitter taste in his mouth about dating etc. Because of this, he just stopped trying to find his soul mate.

Found a Note in His Truck

Jim in time patched his brain back in order and acquired a job working for an apartment complex in a small town in lower part of the state of Michigan. He always had a habit of leaving his drivers side window in the open position. One Sunny day he opened his truck door and observed a piece of paper on his from seat. It was a note from a girl he met while fixing a plumbing problem in her Mothers apartment. It said, I would very much like to have lunch with you. Please call my Mother, if you have a mind to. I’m temporarily staying with my Mother in apt 704, till I find anther place to stay. Jim showed me the note and asked me what to do. He said I don’t know what she sees in me. He said she was short, slim and a gorgeous looking person. He and my other co-worker urged him to call her. Two weeks later they moved in together.

Love Found Then Lost

He was right, they didn’t seem to match. It was like mating a swan with a donkey. Personally, I thought he was headed for disaster number three. I’m glad to report, I was one hundred percent wrong. Whenever you saw them, they were always holding hands. Their commitment to each other lasted over two years; then fate dealt them a fatal blow. She developed a lung decease and passed in a matter of days.

Shortly after this tragedy, I moved to a different state. I often wonder how Jim is doing. I can only hope that Jim finds another note, so life can begin again for him.

Try to Note or Etc but do try

I’m sharing this story with you in the hope you will see and understand that there are literally an infinity of ways you can introduce yourself to someone. So get busy and introduce yourself anyway you can think of. Failing to try, will predict your future and that's no future.

This has taught me a serious lesson. Life can change in a heartbeat, so I love, love, all I can.

That’s my Story and I live by it.

Don L. Terrill

photo by General Wesc


Compliment Yourself Daily & Date Better

This Is How I Compliment Myself

Don you look wonderful today

Don You’re the happiest person I know

Don why are you always smiling?

Don you look great

Don you smell wonderful

Don you don’t look a day over forty

Don I read one of your books and it was awesome

Don I love the way you laugh

Don you are the greatest public speaker I have ever heard

Don are you loosing weight?

Don is your hair is getting thicker?

Don you are such a talented person

Don I have always admired you

Don you are my best friend

Don being around you makes me feel good all the time

Don you’re the sexiest man I know

Don I love the way you make me feel

Don you have the cutest nose

Wow Don your really looking good

What I'm Doing Here Is Saying Nice Things to Myself

Remember how you feel what someone says something nice to you. Well if you’re like me its good for you and you like how it makes you feel. Is not what I’m saying true?

Here’s what I accomplish when I do this. I’m talking to myself and giving myself compliments. I do this for other people all the time and then I realized why can’t I do this for myself and make myself feel better? Well guess what it really works.

Add More Octane to the Compliment

And if you want to give this process an additional boost do it in the bathroom while you’re looking in the mirror. Sound crazy maybe it looks that way but it really works.

Create Your Own Compliment List

So step into your private office and run the water to disguise what you’re saying and enjoy the benefits of improving the quality of your life. Oh and don't forget to create your own compliment list depending on what you want to say to yourself.

Happy Daters Are Better Daters

Don L. Terrill

photo by Baltimike


Ken Made the First Move

So How Did You Meet Your Last Possibility?

Chances are you played know part in making it happen or it happened with know effort on your part.

Chance brought Ken and Sally together. Recently we had a DirecTV installed at our residence and while that was happening the cable service was being disconnected by an attractive belt carrying feminine person.

During this activity they both talked. At one point Ken asked how the cable business was going? She responded by saying business was nearly at a stand still; she said the only work she’s been getting is removing cable service to soon to be x customers.

Ken Made the First Move

Ken made a special effort to remove himself from the roof and give her his personal card on which he wrote the number of a contact where she could inquire about getting a sub-contracting job with his satellite company. During this encounter they spend more time then needed to pass a card from one to another.

Their Smile Said Maybe?

Seeing the smile they both showed each other I can only surmise that maybe more smiles with each other might be in the offering.

No I can’t tell the future but it sure looked like a connection was in their future. Personally I hope so because they looked liked they might be able to make happy music together.

In my travels I’m always looking to understand how people meet and I just think I viewed another one. I’m constantly amazed how easy it is and how fast the connection is made when souls try to know each other.

So Do Something

So play your part and find the part that matches you and then make a move of some sort. I wish you all the good feelings that wellness brings when hearts find each other.

Don L. Terrill

photo by kevinzim


Are Divorcees Better Daters?

You Bet by Leaps and Bounds.

These people have what newbees don’t have and that’s a real live understanding of what mating is all about. They by and large understand the basic pitfalls that most people experience, when they first enter the dating arena. These people are veterans and aren’t scared to say what they think and feel.

They Know More

Their not afraid to mention the mistakes they made the first time around. They take pride in the knowledge that they know a snake when they see one. I have a feeling that slithering is more noticeable when you’re an observing divorcee.

They See Reality More Clearly

I think divorcees are more apt to be themselves and are less likely to be played by a player. For those of you who still linger in the dark ages allow me to explain. A player is a person who prides himself or herself on how many mates they have in their stable. Divorcees from my observations don’t buy into the stable concept.

Sex Talk is Easier

Divorcees are already skilled in the fine art of manipulation. They don’t need training they have already graduated to a higher level of sexuality. They will not hesitate to explain their wills and won’ts; which brings a great deal of clarity to a very difficult subject to talk about.

They Have Been Tested & Are Better

They have gone thru the test of fire and still retain their sense of humor. When they date newbees they quickly make their feelings known on all subject matters. This clarity gives newbees a great deal of subject matter to think about. Sure some newbees cant handle all that information at one time; so many will walk away talking to themselves. The smart ones will stay, learn and if smart consider divorcees love mates and grow from their experience. Divorcees are like graduates of college and they know things only experience will teach you. So if your smart you’ll at very least enjoy their company absorb their experience and never judge them. Judging is only allowed after you have walked the stones of fire called divorce.

Their Better then New

The world judges experience as a high value when hiring employees. I hope my small article helps to promote the high value I personally place on those who have dared to walk the stones of fire. Divorce should not brand one a loser, on the contrary it should value them for having the courage to admit their mistake and demonstrate the power to move on. To me the losers are those who stay and never really know love. To miss love is to miss the very point for being alive. So if your smart you'll give that divorcee down the street a second look and maybe if your lucky she will look back. This is my story and I live by it.

Don L. Terrill

photo by foundphotoslj