We Desire to Know and be Deeply Known

Photo By: The Tanori Group

We Desire to Know and be Deeply Known
By Kris & Anita Rossow

“A soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as through the communication and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life.” - Thomas Moore

Our Core Needs as a Human Being

Deep within each human being is a desire to feel connected physically, emotionally and spiritually to another person - to know and be deeply known. In some cases this desire permeates our everyday lives and we become obsessed with it and in other cases it is a gentle nagging reminder in the back of our mind constantly.

The core needs of a human being are to find acceptance, value and belonging in the world. Different people choose varying means to meet these core needs.

The plethora of clubs and community groups in society exist to cater to our hunger for connection or belonging with other human beings. Our need to have a meaningful relationship with others is met through these groups of ‘like minded’ people. Being a part of a group gives us opportunity to develop friendships and learn more about our area of interest.

We are created primarily for relationship. When we intentionally mix with others our character develops as our ideas and beliefs are sharpened and challenged. Such groups enrich our lives.

Alongside our desire to feel as if we belong and are connected with other human beings is our desire to be valued and accepted in life. We primarily seek this value and acceptance from the people we are closest to. This idea links with our desire to find a soul mate, the person with whom we can be vulnerable and journey through life.

Deep down we know that through our willingness to be vulnerable with another person we will find happiness and contentment and be deeply valued and accepted for who we are.

Understanding that our core needs as a human being are for acceptance, value and belonging helps us to recognize the deep desire we have to know another person and be deeply known by them.

Searching for acceptance, value and belonging in the wrong places can lead us down a destructive path. Many people have tried to meet one or more of these core needs through partying, giving into peer pressure, taking drugs or unhealthy relationships based on sex and co dependency leading to feelings of shame and guilt.

Understanding our design, the fact that we were created with these core needs, releases us to discover how we can meet these needs in a healthy way.

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