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Why He Doesn't Call Back
By Kara Oh
One of the biggest issues women have with men is "Why didn't he call back?" We know why insensitive men don't call back, they're creeps.
But what about men who seem too nice to be that rude? After talking to a lot of men about this problem, this is what it boils down to:
1) She said too much. Men tell me that many women go into way too much detail about their past relationships, especially of a sexual nature. Men don't want to hear it, even if they ask to tell them.
2) She talked about all the bad things every man ever did to her...and she blames me. Men hate it when a woman blames them for what some jerk before them did to her. It's like they're guilty until proven innocent.
3) She's angry at men. She's got a chip on her shoulder about men and carries a bit of anger toward all men...simply because they're men. This is a variation on #2 but it's about men in general, rather than specific men and incidences.
4) She lacks some or all of the qualities he's looking for. Most any woman's list of expectations regarding men, marriage, and relationships is pretty long. Consequently, most women settle for a man that lacks some of the qualities she was looking for. A man's list is very short.
For example, if a man's list of what he's looking for in that special woman is four items long, if one item is missing, that's one/quarter of what he needs. If its missing, he's gone...without an explanation.
5) She has sex too soon. Yes, most men want to get a woman into bed as soon as possible. But, if a woman he's really interested in has sex with him too soon, he quits calling because he figures if she did it with him so easily, she probably did with others, equally soon in the relationship.
It's a double standard, of course, but I'm just reporting the news. And ladies, don't say, "I don't usually have sex so soon." He won't believe it, even if it's true. He's heard it before.
He wants to think you're kind of pure, and maybe only had sex with the few men you were truly in love with. Wait until you think this man could become Mr. Right.
He'll respect your desire to wait. If not, isn't it nice to find out now. Okay, you haven't done any of those things but he still doesn't call back. Again, setting aside that he isn't an insensitive creep, what's the deal?
Here are the two reasons that it boils down to: He's not ready to get involved, and/or...you're not the right one. Pretty simple. You may be great, perfect, actually, for another guy, just not this guy. It reflects nothing bad on you, it's just that his list of requirements is very short compared to yours.
Maybe five or six items. If only one of those items is missing, that's a pretty big percentage of the package he's looking for. What you need to learn to do is say, "Next."
I hope this sheds some light on why men do those frustrating things they do.
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Posted by Jessica Watts at 4:09 PM