Photo By: SMP-or-die
The First Step To Becoming Successful With Women
By Simon Heong
The first step to becoming successful with women is this:
Learn to have basic conversational skills.
You MUST be able to talk to anyone at anytime -- anywhere.
As simple as it may sound, this should be the first step you MUST simply master.
And WHY must you do this?
Well, think about it -- if you're able to literally talk to anyone AS and WHEN you like, don't you think you'll subconciously be improving your social conversational skills with people in general?
The idea for you to do so is so that you become more COMFORTABLE talking to people.
Forget whether it's with a guy or a girl for the moment.
Just make 'talking to people' second nature for you.
If you're shy with the girls, then a good place to start is with the guys - especially the guys who are already great with the ladies.
Use them as practice.
Think about it, common sense tells you if you can't even feel comfortable talking to guys, what makes you think you'll be better off with the girls?
You can learn A LOT from these so-called 'players' as well.
Remember, the fastest way for you to become great with women is to MODEL after those who are ALREADY achieving the success that you want with women at the moment.
You see, once you're comfortable talking with the guys, then you can start moving forward and try talking to the girls instead.
Remember: make GRADUAL improvements -- on a daily basis.
Think about it: If you can gradually improve your conversational skills by a mere 1% each day CONSISTENTLY,by the very end of the month, your conversational skills would have improved by a whopping 30%!
NEVER underestimate the power of gradual improvement!
The next key step is for you to TAKE ACTION.
Can you imagine how much more fun your life would be if you'll be able to just walk up and talk to any girl that you like?
With this skill in hand, you'll be able to mess around withany girl you choose, anywhere you like!
It could be just be the sales girl from your local shoppingmall, to the waitress who serves you coffee, to even the girl sitting next to you in the bus stop!
Here's something you should also know when it comes to talking to women.
Most guys tend to try TOO HARD when they're talking to a woman -- a beautiful one especially.
They'll tend to be way too accomodating, friendly & 'complimentary' to the her which is exactly the OPPOSITE waythat most 'alpha males' should be doing.
This is also EXACTLY the way that 90% of guys would be when they're talking to a woman which is wrong, wrong, WRONG!
What you SHOULD be doing in fact, is to NOT project that vibe that you're trying TOO HARD to gain their attention.
Remember: Be DIFFERENT.
You see, most guys, especially the shy ones, they tend to be too afraid in trying something funny or something cool especially if its with a beautiful woman.
My question for you is this?
What's the worst that could happen to you if you did?
But before we go into that, let me tell you this, and this really is a FACT. More often than not, the worst things that you would normally think off, will most likely NOT happen at all!
It's just your mind playing silly 'ol tricks on ya, that's it.
Now, worst case scenario is even if you DID fall flat on your face, at least you did something DIFFERENT, unlike the 99 other losers that said the same lame, over-accommodating lines that she's so accustomed to all along.
You see, if you really want to be great with women, you must be a super 'ALPHA' bloke -- a guy who's NOT afraid to speak his mind AND do the right thing in any given situation and be the leader of the pack.
Not be all wimpy and accommodating and stuff...
Think about it -- then go out and DO it.
You'll SEE the difference right away.
And you can thank me later, ok? ;-)
For more Dating tips click here.
Posted by Jessica Watts at 11:29 AM
Photo By: darkroom11
Overcoming Nervousness Around Women using Four Simple Tips
By John Alexander
Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has the most gorgeous face you've ever seen. Her hair is silky brown. Her skin looks so radiant and so incredibly soft. You would be on top of the world if you could pick this girl up.
You feel the fear deep in your gut.
You know that even if you got your balls in gear and went for it, you wouldn't know what to say. You feel so nervous and fumbly that you would reject yourself if you were her. So you shy away from even approaching her in the first place.
Does this situation sound familiar? If so, keep reading.
The first thing for you to realize is that all guys get anxiety about approaching women. I know I certainly do.
But what separates you (and me) from the rest of the guys is...
What You Do About Your Fear.
Most guys let fear paralyze them... not just about chicks, but about other things in their life like their career... which is why, unfortunately, most guys will never find the success that they want.
First, look at where your fear comes from. The problem is inside of you. It's not with the chicks.
If you're thinking about rejection, then that means you're making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind (I'm just guessing, but I think if you're like most guys, your goal is getting chicks attracted to you so that you can get laid).
Try this instead... approach without having any expectations. No goals.
Let me tell you about a problem I used to have. I'm inclined to be an introvert, as I discuss in my book , [insert your affiliate link] "How to Become an Alpha Male."
So to overcome my shyness, I would force myself to chat up everybody, no matter who they were... hot girls, ugly girls, fat girls, old people, men, children, people walking dogs, etc.
I would talk about neutral topics with them, nothing to do with picking up chicks.
The net result from all of that was I became really good at approaching people.
After that, however, I made a mistake. I said to myself, "Since I'm so good at approaching people and have become an outgoing person, why am I wasting time talking to anyone other than hot chicks?"
So then I limited the people I talked to... and my anxiety about talking to random women swept over me once again. It was as if I'd never had all that practice chatting up strangers in the first place.
At that point I realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had thoughts like "I'm going to try to lay this chick" in my mind... before I'd even opened my mouth to say "hi"... and so I would crash and burn. It sucked.
Here's something I want you to try. Whenever you go out, talk to three people, but do it just for practice. Don't do it for real.
Because it's just for practice, don't limit yourself to just talking to hot women. In general, I've found that elderly people (both males and females) and fat women are easy to talk to.
If it helps, set up a time limit for your practice interactions, like that you'll talk to the person for 30 seconds and then you'll get out of the conversation. (Say something like, "Well, I'm on my way to meeting a friend. Good chatting with you." And then walk away without making a big deal of it.)
Once you've done your practices and feel warmed up, then you can chat up hot chicks. Again though, do it without having any sort of sex-related outcome in mind. For example, if a chick passes by you in a hallway, just say, "Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something." (Then ask about something that you genuinely want a female opinion on.)
Remember though: have no outcome in mind. So it doesn't matter if the chick responds rudely.
In fact, when you reach a point that you've chatted up lots of women, you'll find that eventually rude responses on their part mean nothing. You'll have an attitude of "ha, how original... I've had tons of women give me that exact same 'clever' rude comment."
I've been rejected hideously, time and time again. One chick screamed "Go away!" at me before I could even get out my initial sentence.
Another time I thought it was amusing when I approached a group of two girls, just for practice, and right after I said "hey," they both turned their backs on me in unison, as if they were synchronized dancers!
Now I just look back on all of that and laugh.
My point is that the more you approach, the more you'll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It'll bore you rather than cause you anxiety.
Think of it as trying to build a house. You put down one brick at a time and cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It'll take a long time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you've finished the hard part).
To get a bit more psychological, there's really no such thing as "being nervous." You don't "get nervous," like it's some kind of flu virus that invades your body.
All feelings of nervousness come from within. You have a certain series of thought processes that you go through. You say things to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, "I would reject myself," it sets you up for failure!) You picture the chicks rejecting you. You feel tense in your body. And so on.
So what you can do to break this is to identify it for what it is.
Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Instead of thinking, "Oh my God, this chick is going to act like a bitch to me because I fumble my words"... think, "It's awesome that I'm making this approach, because if this chick rejects me, that means I've gotten her out of the way and I'm one step closer to finding my dream girl."
Notice where you feel tense in your body, and then let your muscles relax in those areas. For me, I feel tense in my jaw and face when I'm nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it alleviates a lot of my tension.
I'll wrap it up for you by concluding with this advice:
1) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.
2) Remember that the only way to get over your fear is by doing the thing you fear. The more you do it, the easier it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, "Been there, done that, it's no big deal."
3) Recognize your bad thoughts and force yourself to replace them with good ones.
4) Ease the physical tension you have in your body when you feel nervous.
For more Dating tips click here.
Posted by Jessica Watts at 9:56 AM